“Mentor’s Comments”
Define enculturation in introduction.
Body – Tell how societal norms and ethics are passed to individuals by society e.g. – respect for elders in India, individualism in western society.
Tell how individual moral can be different from societal norms – individual morals flows from conscience.
e.g. – societal norm – caste discriminations; individual moral – equality and equity.
Then right how it can be resolved – e.g. by following conscience – Gandhiji – “court of conscience” etc
Conclusion – balancing between individuals morals and societal norms is very important for happiness of everybody. Every action must be towards this direction.
Ref id 422329
Vishal,
You could have talked about the ethics and norm and enculturation, which is passing of these ethics and norm from one generation to other over a period, in one para itself.
You have stretched first part of question a bit too long, took more then a page. What you have written in in first on 2nd page must be part of 2nd paragraph itself.
More so, focus on how enculturation impact morals and ethics by giving example.
then discuss in more detail- the incompatibility of the societal ethics and individual ethics, also use of more than one example would add value
Conclusion part is good but here also substantiate with more example.
Keep practicing you can improve only by practicing more.
pay_HH1EGxOD3EGEhl
Subhashree
You have the right set of examples and knowledge but you have to mold your arguments as per demand of the question.
After talking about enculturation in into, must have differentiate the societal norms and ethics
then talk about the compatibility of these two.
you must discuss more about this conflict Giving example is good but not enough.
Also, try maintain the flow in your arguments (prepare a rough sketch of the answer in mind and then write it.
You can also use headings for different part of the answer.
Overall attempt is fine, but you can improve it.
Keep writing 🙂
Payment Id – pay_HHogiMPYpQ87sC
Kartikey,
In intro you must write about enculturation, though its close to socialization but it’s different.
You have written well. Nearly all part of the question are attempted that’s good.
You can add one thing- Societal norms are not always bad. There are several values like welfare which is societal norm and an individual moral can be indulging in personal satisfaction.
So, better is always find a harmony between two rather than one subordinating the other.
Adding this dimension will make your answer more enriched.
Keep Practicing:).
Razorpayment ID: pay_HH1ukgfngo01Dy
Please review
Deepanshu Singh- 6
Your introduction and conclusion is good.
Just after your introduction you could have talked about enculturation briefly, that would make your answer complete.
Also, you can add more lines on conflict between morals and societal norms like why they occur- individual own thinking and rationality not being in line with societal practices.
overall answer is good you have covered all the possible aspects.
Keep writing 🙂
Please review sir
Payment Id: pay_HHNZ7RGmO4BG6P
Sushmita,
you must read the question carefully and try to answer every core component of the answer.
Mentor’s comments are mere indicators about the line on which you must think, it’s not the whole answer. So you have to go beyond that to write as far as possible original answer.
Try to give more specific arguments (when norms and ethics are in harmony, or in conflict )with example in your answer.
You can read answer of other students to get an idea of framing answers.
Also try to write on UPSC answer booklet if possible.
Keep writing. With practice you can surely improve your answers quality.
#0000422551 (order iD)
Vamsidhar,
Your introduction is fine, you can add the definition of enculturation to further improve it.
Also, individual morals and societal ethics are slightly different terms. Read more about them to get better understanding.
First part of the answer is attempted well with examples.
But, you have nearly completely skipped the 2nd part of the answer- how to resolve the conflict, here you have mention technique like following conscience, using rational objective outlook Etc. can be used for resolving the conflict between individuals morals and societal norms.
Read other’s answers as well, keep writing 🙂
3.5/10
#0000417593
Sakshi,
Your introduction is apt. To further improve it try to make sure that introduction ends in one paragraph itself. You can combine your first 3 paragraph in one paragraph only.
In main body part you have given good examples. But always remember that examples in themselves are not sufficient.
Use a broad heading under which give arguments support that with example.
E.g. for points 3 and 4 you could write conflict between orthodoxy in societal norms and focus on equality in individual morals.
Same thing can be done in last part of the answer as well.
With practice you would find it easy to fit examples within an argument.
Keep writing
4.5/10
please review
#0000422529
Yash,
Introduction is good but a little lengthy. Try to concise your first 2 paragraph within one paragraph.
While explaining conflict between individuals morals and societal norms you have focused only on examples. Try to add dimensions like why conflict – individual may have different set of values than society.
In solution points are good. You can enrich your answer by adding few more points like use of rational thinking, constitutional morality Etc. to resolve the conflict.
Also, you have focused on one dimension where societal norms are wrong and morals are correct. It can be other way round too. Write this dimension as well. It will give more depth to your answer.
Read others’ answers as well. Keep writing. Keep improving 🙂
3.5/10
0000416168 please check
Shivanshu
In introduction you have just simply list down the definitions. The question doesn’t ask for them specifically. So write them but mold them in a way they look natural part of answer. For this see other students answers. Also, always try to limit introduction within one paragraph itself. What you have written in first one and half page should be reduced to one paragraph only, you’ll get only 2 pages for a 10 marks question.
While explaining core answer of conflict between individual morals and societal norms you have just listed down the example. Make it a rule to always first mention the argument i.e. some specific line that answer why there is conflict and then follow it with example. It will make answer more profound.
Same principle of one argument followed by one example can be used in 2nd part of answer as well. There is no need of writing more than one example for single argument.
Also always try to write conclusion.
You have content you just have to mold it as per need of question.
Keep writing, keep improving
3.5/10
Payment Id pay_HHlJ1R1WIIMdGT
Introduction is fine but you can add example of enculturation in introduction itself.
First part of answer is attempted well. Add few lines how this conflict between individual morals and societal norms can led to cognitive dissonance and disharmony in society. Also you can enrich your answer by adding few lines of why this conflict occurs at first place – individual values can be different from view held by society.
In conclusion part the first example you have given- jail term….- is a bit ambiguous. Try to give clear and concise examples
Always end your answer with some concluding remarks.
Keep writing to improve quality of your answers 🙂
Payment Id: 115213946268
Answer to question 4
Vivek,
Introduction is well written. You can further improve it by adding one example of enculturation in introduction itself.
Core part of answer need improvement to score better in exam. You have to give more arguments in your answer. Like why the conflict between individual morals and societal norms – it can be due to different value sets.
Also add some lines on how this conflict manifests in individual dissonance and societal disharmony.
Similarly, last part of answer can be enriched by giving more arguments in line of using rationality in decision making etc.
Also, never give an example in the end of answer.
Follow the rule of argument followed by example.
Write within proper structure – introduction-body-conclusion.
You can read others answer to get an idea of proper structure.
Keep writing to further improve your answer 🙂
kindly review
ref id: 0000430326
Deepali,
First of all try to write in proper UPSC format copy in a formal manner. It would help you immensely in your final exam with space management.
You have good understanding of ethics but you need to mold your content as per the demand of the question. Try to present your content is a such way that it look like you are explaining the core demand of answer from first line itself and is not merely writing down definition.
You have explained well the conflict between individual morals and societal norms but totally forget to attempt their resolution. Try to break answer into smaller subheadings. It will help you address each part of the answer.
Also, no need to mention the word “conclusion” . Make it as such that it itself signifies conclusion.
Also, don’t draw diagram without labelling them – what they signify. Also it is not advisable to draw diagram at end of answer.
Use your content wisely. It will improve quality of your answer substantially.
Keep writing:)
3.5/10
Payment Id
pay HFrdyJMOEZ9967
Sumita,
Try to concise your introduction. It must end within one paragraph. What you have written in first 3 paragraph is not core answer. Try to use only one paragraph for this.
You started addressing core demand of the question (that is conflict between individual morals and societal ethics and its resolution ) from 2nd page only. Your core answer must be the substantial part of answer, atleast 3/4th of the whole
Use mentors comment to develop the answer and then write it explaining each part of answer
Try to give more arguments in core part of answer. You can use subheadings to properly structure your answer.
You can read other copies to get an idea of how to use more points in answer
Keep writing to improve.
Ref id – #0000422539. please review.
Mradul Sharma -4
Your introduction is good. But you don’t have to list down 3-4 example.
Follow the Principle i.e. one argument followed by one example. Also, try to finish introduction within one paragraph so that you can devote more words to core demand of the question.
Try to attempt answer by giving arguments. Example are important but they are not sufficient.
In conflict part of the answer instead of writing many examples for same argument try to give more arguments like why there is conflict between individual morals and societal norms – because of different value sets.
Use mentors comment only for guidance and try to go beyond that to improve depth of your answers.
You have good content. But Try to mold that as per demand of the question.
Keep writing 🙂
Plz review sir
Siddharth,
Your introduction is good. You can further improve by giving some example of enculturation in introduction itself.
In core part of answer don’t always rely on examples. Examples are good but they are not sufficient. Try to first write the substantial argument and then explain it by example.
Add more points in your answer like why the conflict between individual morals and societal norms. Think on lines of different value sets, changing outlook with modern institutions etc.
You can read other students answers to get an idea.
Similar strategy can be used for the 2nd part (resolution of the conflict) of the answer as well.
4.5/10
Note – Pls mention your payment ID with the answer otherwise your copy will not be evaluated next time.
thankyou very much sir
Please Review Sir
Payment Id pay_HHWzC2O9xhkaqA
Utkarsha
You have not understand the core demand of the question.
What you have written in 2nd and 3rd paragraph is not related to the demand of the question.
Never give unrelated information in your answer it only hides your other good points.
Try this exercise it’ll help you understand what is to write in a question. Try to take a little time before writing. frame answer in your mind and then try to write it.
Try to read more about the words mentioned in UPSC syllabus to get a hold of ethical perspective.
Use mentors comment to develop an outline regarding the answer and then enrich your answer by writing concrete points from your own knowledge.
You can have a look at others answer to get an idea.
Keep writing
Ref Id #0000416426
Please review
Rupesh,
You have attempted well. However You can improve on certain points to further enrich your answer.
In core part of the answer while explaining conflict between individual morals and societal norms you can add few lines on why the conflict in first place – different values in individual from society. Thereafter you can add example of tribal you have given.
Also, add some lines for what happens due to conflict – individual suffer from cognitive dissonance, society from disharmony.
Conclusion part is also good.
Overall well attempted
Keep writing:)
5.5/10
Payment I’d 115009045817
Santosh,
First of all you have to underline only important keywords. Don’t underline each and every line.
You have to concise your introduction. What you have written in first 3 paragraphs must be written in one paragraph only and that too with clear expression.
You need to read more about keyword of paper 4. Societal ethics is little different from individual morals. Morals are intrinsic to a person where societal ethics or norms are socially accepted values.
In main part of answer i.e. the conflict between individual morals and societal norms you have to move beyond examples. First write an argument and then use example to substantiate it.
2nd part is good. But you can further improve it by example for tolerance and plurality. I.e. how it will help resolve the conflict.
You can read other student answers to get an idea of how to use argument with example.
Keep writing to improve quality of the your answers:)
Order id:0000422561
Vishnu,
Your introduction is good. You can further improve it by giving example of enculturation in introduction itself. e.g. value of respecting elders in India.
You have attempted well and has given good arguments. Only one thing is missing that is examples. You have given them at end but that’s not a good structure.
Always follow the principle of one argument followed by one example to substantiate your argument.
Try not to give examples at the end of answer.
Always try to end your answer with a solution oriented remark.
Keep writing to improve quality of your answers:)
4.5/10
Review
Ref no 0000420120