Mentor Comments:
- https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/a-gender curriculum/article25540532.ece?homepage=true
- The article examines the role of education in ending sexism and misogyny that the present education system has failed to deliver.
- The question wants us to express our opinion as to whether or not, the unfolding of the MeToo movement in India points out to the failure of our education system. We have to form our opinion based on a proper discussion and presentation of valid arguments and facts.
- Write a few introductory lines about the MeToo movement which shook the world, including India last year.
- In the main body of the answer, discuss how the movement highlights the failure of our education system. E.g The purpose of education is not to only ensure that people secure employment or rise to coveted positions of power alone, it is also to ensure that they learn and practice equality and mutual respect. Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions compel us to ask whether those years spent in school, college and university have been unsuccessful in instilling basic values. It seems as though rising to top positions and enjoying power have emboldened men to behave in unacceptable ways, and the education system has done nothing to prevent this.
- It is not uncommon to hear of incidents of sexual harassment being justified as “casual flirting” or being attributed to the offender’s “glad eye”. Using these terms to explain away or even justify these acts reflects the depth and expanse of the problem; blatant display of inappropriate behaviour, which makes women uncomfortable, shows that men in power enjoy the impunity that accompanies attitudes and acts entrenched in patriarchy.
- Our education system is failing to teach boys and men to recognise, challenge and refrain from sexist and even unlawful behaviour must be acknowledged and tackled
- Conclude with an optimistic and to the point way forward.
Answer:
India is experiencing its second wave of the MeToo movement, in which women across the world some of them public figures, have levelled sexual harassment charges against certain men, many of whom occupy powerful positions in media. Last year, a list of prominent academicians alleged to have sexually harassed female colleagues/students was put out on social media.
How the MeToo movement highlights the failure of India’s education system:
- Gender equality is neglected: The purpose of education is not to only ensure that people secure employment or rise to coveted positions of power alone, it is also to ensure that children learn and practice equality and mutual respect which is not emphasized much in the Indian education system.
- Position defines power: Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions make people question whether education has been unsuccessful in instilling basic values.
- It seems as though rising to top positions and enjoying power have emboldened men to behave in unacceptable ways.
- Incidents are considered lightly: It is not uncommon to hear of incidents of sexual harassment being justified as casual flirting. Using these terms to explain away or even justify these acts reflects the depth and expanse of the problem.
- Patriarchal mindset is dominant: Men in power enjoy the impunity that accompanies attitudes and acts entrenched in patriarchy.
- Education system is failing to teach boys and men to recognise, challenge and refrain from sexist and unlawful behaviour
- Education means success: Among other things, education has the basic duty of ensuring that people become socially aware and sensitive beings who know how to interact and engage with people of different genders, castes, classes and communities. This is neglected.
Way forward:
- There must be efforts to incorporate a gender curriculum in all school and college classrooms.
- Schools need to establish anti-sexual harassment cells, organise regular awareness programmes on consent across the country, and formulate measures to address incidents of sexual harassment.
- Schools must teach students that consent is an essential component of any interaction and that decisions, even of refusal, must be respected.
- Campaigns like Operation Nirbheek, initiated to improve the safety and security of girls in schools, have proven to be successful to a large extent. Interventions in educational institutions will be a much-needed start to strengthen voices against sexual harassment and make homes and workplaces safe.
- The police should initiate community engagement drives so that students know how to report sexual harassment.
- Parents need to focus on inculcating values in their children more rather than focusing on the marks their children get.
It is imperative that we begin early if we are to secure a closure to our #MeToo experiences.
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Do not use the statements of the mentor’s comments as it is. They are for your help in terms of structure and content needed in the answer. Use them as your guiding light but frame the points in your own language.
Your most of the answer is the copy of the model answer.
We strongly advise doing it. Answer writing means you have to give points from your own understanding of the question and topic and recollecting points from your subconscious mind.
You will not have the luxury of using the internet in the real exam and hence cannot see the sources or model answer.
Therefore stay true to yourself and be honest. There is no point of getting a perfect 7 on the public domain by using unfair means.
Not reviewing the answer hence.
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MeToo
Your answer started really well.
The intro, though a bit lengthy, covers the essential points of the topic.
But the main body of the answer lacks content and required depth.
The structure is haphazard in the answer and points are not placed in coherence.
After describing the reactions of the accused, discuss in detail how the education system has failed us.
Do mention that most of the accused come from a good academic background and hence it shows that our education system has failed us.
Always read the mentors comments to get the idea of how to approach a particular answer along with the direction of the content.
The purpose of education is not to only ensure that people secure employment or rise to coveted positions of power alone, it is also to ensure that they learn and practice equality and mutual respect. Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions compel us to ask whether those years spent in school, college and university have been unsuccessful in instilling basic values. It seems as though rising to top positions and enjoying power have emboldened men to behave in unacceptable ways, and the education system has done nothing to prevent this.
Avoid lengthy paragraphs.
Use a subheading and then place your points in bullet format there, just like the model answer did.
The way forward needs to be discussed in detail too.
The treatment of the answer is not according to a 15 marks question.
Read the model answer for detailed talking points and necessary structure.
The language and presentation is clear and decent.
Avoid lengthy statements
please review
Never start your answer with a subheading. That is a bookish style of writing. Your intro should be a virtual subheading for you which will reflect the upcoming discussion in the answer.
No need to discuss who was the 1st person to start the campaign. That is irrelevant to the answer.
The discussion in the 1st subheading of the main body of the answer is again irrelevant to the demand of the question. You are not supposed to discuss the effects of sexual harassment at the workplace. Instead, the main demand of the question is how this sexual harassment and subsequent MeToo movement shows the failure of the education system.
Hence after intro, your main agenda of the discussion will remain this.
Your 2nd part of the answer is also not discussing how our education system has failed us.
Instead, it discussed the way forward.
Hence you haven’t discussed the core demand of the question.
The purpose of education is not to only ensure that people secure employment or rise to coveted positions of power alone, it is also to ensure that they learn and practice equality and mutual respect. Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions compel us to ask whether those years spent in school, college and university have been unsuccessful in instilling basic values. It seems as though rising to top positions and enjoying power have emboldened men to behave in unacceptable ways, and the education system has done nothing to prevent this.
This should be the line of discussion in your 1st part of the main body.
Always read the mentors comments carefully before attempting the answer.
The way forward is very good and it is detailed.
No need to use subheading for conclusion. It is naturally aligned to your answer.
Avoid lengthy statements. Your statements should ideally have only 10-12 words. Otherwise, your points will not be to the point and crisp.
In terms of presentation, the overall answer is fine but do underline important points
Read the model answer
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The discussion done in the 1st part of the main body is not up to the mark.
Instead of discussing the general failure of the education system, you have to discuss “The purpose of education is not to only ensure that people secure employment or rise to coveted positions of power alone, it is also to ensure that they learn and practice equality and mutual respect. Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions compel us to ask whether those years spent in school, college and university have been unsuccessful in instilling basic values. It seems as though rising to top positions and enjoying power have emboldened men to behave in unacceptable ways, and the education system has done nothing to prevent this.”
This should be the line of your direction in this portion. No need of discussing the issue of lack of education. The Nirbhaya issue and MeToo movement are two different things and hence there is no relation between them. Therefore general points in your answers.
The discussion in the way forward needs to be detailed and not done through the flowchart. The content in the flowchart is decent. Just expand them and explain each point.
Read the model answer for the talking points in the 1st part of the main body
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A very good and detailed answer.
Your overall coverage of the topic is done in a decent manner.
The structure is perfect and entails all the required elements in the answer.
Good content all in all.
The way forward and the main body are handled really well.
The content is deep and wide.
The explanation is short and crisp and effective.
The presentation is decent too.
Nothing wrong with the attempt.
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The only issue is that way forward should have been discussed in a bit more detail.
This is an important aspect and hence needs detailed discussion.
The rest of the answer is perfect.
The structure is according to the demand of the question.
The content in all parts of the answer are to the point and rich.
The language is fine and the presentation is smooth.
Good attempt
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Before jumping to the main body of the answer, link it in your intro. Hence a small statement like “Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions compel us to ask whether our education system has failed us as a society.” It is important to always link your topic or the main demand of the question with your intro. That gives a good cohesion.
The discussion done in the 1st part of the main body is not up to the mark.
Instead of discussing the general failure of the education system, you have to discuss the content on these lines: “The purpose of education is not to only ensure that people secure employment or rise to coveted positions of power alone, it is also to ensure that they learn and practice equality and mutual respect. Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions compel us to ask whether those years spent in school, college and university have been unsuccessful in instilling basic values. It seems as though rising to top positions and enjoying power have emboldened men to behave in unacceptable ways, and the education system has done nothing to prevent this.”
This should be the line of your direction in this portion. No need of discussing the general issue of education.
Also, the way forward lacks to the point discussion and discusses general solutions. Instead, the whole question is regarding the education system. Hence your way forward should also have solutions in terms of the education system. Also, the points in the way forward are less. Remember that in 15 marks questions, your subheadings should have at least 6-7 points each.
In terms of presentation, keep your points clear and your subheading should be visible clearly. It should not get hidden in the milieu of the points.
Therefore, write clearly.
Structure of the answer is decent.
Always read the model answer for understanding the demands and structure and direction of the content in each part.
Read the model answer for talking points that I mentioned.
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Your answer has all the necessary elements.
The structure is to the points.
Decent discussion in the main body.
The linkage between the education system and gender equality is well explained.
Good discussion all in all.
Decent presentation and structure.
Keep it up
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You haven’t discussed the core demand of the question.
Read the questions carefully and do not veer away from the core demand of the question.
The discussion in the 1st subheading of the main body of the answer is irrelevant to the demand of the question. You are not supposed to discuss the reasons for sexual harassment at the workplace. Instead, the main demand of the question is how this sexual harassment and subsequent MeToo movement shows the failure of the education system. Hence after intro, your main agenda of the discussion will remain this.
Your 2nd part of the answer is also not discussing how our education system has failed us. Instead, it discussed the way forward.
“The purpose of education is not to only ensure that people secure employment or rise to coveted positions of power alone, it is also to ensure that they learn and practice equality and mutual respect. Many of the accused are qualified, educated men. Their actions compel us to ask whether those years spent in school, college and university have been unsuccessful in instilling basic values. It seems as though rising to top positions and enjoying power have emboldened men to behave in unacceptable ways, and the education system has done nothing to prevent this.”
This should be the line of discussion in your 1st part of the main body.
Also, the way forward lacks to the point discussion and discusses general solutions. Instead, the whole question is regarding the education system. Hence your way forward should also have solutions in terms of the education system. Also, the points in the way forward are less.
Always read the mentors comments carefully before attempting the answer.
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Very good intro.
The 2nd paragraph of the answer is informative and presents the knowledgable side of yours to the examiner. Keep it up. But do link the topic of the question somewhere in those 2 starting paragraphs.
The 1st part of the answer is dealt with nicely.
It is good that you kept the discussion on the education system in the 1st part of the main body. This gives balance to your explanation and structure.
Very good discussion in the way forward.
Perfect conclusion.
The language is apt and the content is well explained.
Very good presentation.
1
I somehow find the answers little weak. they lack that impact it should create in my mind. That yes, it is the failure of our education system that such abuse happened at such a large scale not just from outside family members but also by members of women’s families like their uncles. In addition to this when people reacted and rejected these allegations, it reflects the lack of values. the system failed to bring equality, sensitivity and respect for women. It failed to build a society where people own up their mistake. It failed to break the shackles of patriarchy. How did the media and rest of society reacted to this? – most of it just was neglected as well. What does education system reflect here?
Also, in such questions, the conclusions have to be stronger. These are issues to which people connect very well mostly. A balanced but strong answer to strengthen our education system. Such as gender sensitivity classes, redesign curriculum to break that power equation between men and women. Minds are build in early stages so this change has to begin early in the childhood. Education is beyond schools and books. We need to reach out to homes through education system. Adult education as well. Sex education. All of this can be touched depending upon time and length of the answer.
I think you can bring in more structuring/organisation/classification in answer around 3-4 major points. Try this. It may help.