Mentor’s comment-
- Start by explaining the fact that – In the contemporary world, we suffer from information explosion and are consumed by the influence of technology where the rational mind takes over the emotional mind.
- In the body discuss the nuances of the case – As in the above case overuse of mobile phones are having detrimental effect on children. As children have low maturity level and have impressionable brains thus vulnerable to distractions. Suggest strategy for discipline.
- Conclude with importance of discipline and sometimes forced discipline.
divyaloyola13@gmail.com
Hi Divya
Good introduction.
Your second paragraph of the answer needs to be rephrased.
In the harmful effects, you can add more points like –
-Sacrifices needed hours of sleep to spend time online.
-Becomes agitated or angry when online time is interrupted
In the steps, there is no emotional angle, first show them you care. It will help to begin your discussion by reminding your child that you love them and that you care about their happiness and well-being.
Good conclusion.
Underline keywords.
Keep working hard .