Mentor’s comment-
- In the introduction briefly narrate that the educational institutions in our society are of considerable importance.
- In the body discuss first the changing societal dynamics; nuclear families and working parents not being able to give enough attention to the children, at a time when social media
and technology is burdening the childhood with excess information, importance of schools have become even
More. E.g. – Blue whale game challenge leading children to commit suicide. Then move on to discuss the role educational institutions play. - Conclude writing the importance of future of children.
Please Plzz Review
Hi Swati
Good intro but try to summarise it.
You have explained the measures in a decent manner but before measures , explain the implications like-
-On Self: Loss of self-worth and confidence. Bad attributes like greed, jealousy, revenge,
violence are cultivated as a result. Though one can be a successful lawyer, engineer or a
doctor but one will remain as ethical dwarf without values.
-On Society: School is a building with four walls with a brighter tomorrow inside. If schools
fail to inculcate values, then future generation may be influenced by societal evils. Increase
in intolerance, radicalization, gender discrimination and crime may be seen.
Plan the structure before writing.
Underline keywords.
Work hard, you will improve.
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Hi KG
Good intro.
You have explained the impact in a good manner.
Content wise good attempt.
Try to use some quotes . In this you can write- “The aim of education is the knowledge, not facts but of values.” –William Ralph.
Good strucutre.
Keep writing.