“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction
Write about the regional temple Architecture i.e. Dravida style in Introduction.
Body
Give detailed write-up about three phases of evolution and development of temple Architecture under Pallavas.
Then in brief write about development temple architecture under other rulers such as Chola and Pandya.
Conclude how this development enriched Indian culture.
Plzz review
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Shubhashree.
Your Introduction is fine.
You have covered all the aspects of the question but you need to give more details especially for Pallavas temples in which you just mentioned types of temples. Talk about various features for each. Also mention timelines for each.
Hoyashalas and Vijiyanagram style were not purely Dravida, they developed temples essentially in Vesara style. So focus more on Cholas and Pandyas.
Structure is good, presentation is also fine but content needs to be improved.
Conclusion is very well articulated.
Keep Practicing 🙂
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Aabha,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
You covered both the aspects of the question but you need to work upon your content.
Give detailed description of the features under each section specially for 3 phases of Pallavas.
In next section you need to write developments under Cholas and Pandyas whom you just mentioned in Conclusion.
Hoyashalas and vijiyanagaram temples are essentially based on Vesara style.
Read more about the topic. This question is static and very direct. More or less all students will follow same structure here quality of your content will decide your score.
Read others answers and Keep Practicing 🙂
4.5/15
Review sir
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Rajlaxmi,
Your Introduction is good.
You have covered all the Aspects of the questions. Presentation, structure of the answer is also very good. However you need to improve your content. Mentioning just name of temples and their types is not enough.
Here you need to write Atleast 2-3 distinguished features for each section than only it will be a good Answer.
Same is applied for Cholas and instead of Chalukya you should discuss here about Pandyas as former built temples essentially in Vesara style not.
Conclusion is fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
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@Swatantra sir, am I going verbose? Should I restrict the number of words? Or this much should be written to explain all aspects?
If yes, how should I better frame the sentences?
Rohan,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine. But mind the word ‘School’. You can not use it so liberally. School of art essentially have it’s own unique style with own traditions. Dynasties gave Patronage and followed particular style but each of them can not be accounted to develop a school.
Features are Written fine but you can concise it.
In this answer your arrangement of arguments is bit random and there is repetition also.
You should talk about each phase at one place. Give more detailed description of features like plan of Mandapas or temples, engravings, Dwarpalas etc. And Inculcate examples and significant note like UNESCO’S WHS here under these phases only.
In next section rather then talking about Vesara or Vijiyanagaram, you should talk about Cholas, under whom Dravida style reached at its Zenith and Pandyas.
Focus On core demand of the question. If you have additional space and time them only write about fringes like you did in the last section.
See UPSC word limit is indicative. 15-20 words more or less then prescribed numbers is fine. Your style of writing is fine and expression is also Good. I dont think you are going verbose.
For better management you must understand one thing that you should address the core part of the question in detail. Like in this question evolution under Pallavas, Cholas and Pandyas are part of core demand of the question. Features of Dravida style as whole are not asked separately. But it’s incidental to the demand of the question so you should write it in brief.
I hope this addresses your query.
Keep writing 🙂
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Kartikey,
As per your standard this Introduction is not up to the mark you can write better then this.
You need to talk about the specific features of temples under each phase just mentioning type is not enough.
This is very direct static question. More or less students will follow the same structure. Only the quality of the content will decide the score.
Add features in each section of Pallava phase. Description of evolution under Cholas is written well you need to add Pandyas as well here. Also mention time line of each phase.
Conclusion is fine.
You write good answers usually you need to gather more information for this section. Keep Practicing 🙂
5.5/15
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Sumita,
Your Introduction is fine.
Description of Dravida temples are written fine.
you to start addressing core answer as soon as possible. you have started it from second page. To stick to the word limit you need to concise eulogy that you have Written under Pallavas and Temple heading before starting core discussion. Rather focus more on core aspect of the question.
You need to write features of temples under all four phases of Pallavas like you did for Cholas, just mentioning types, names is not enough.
Under Cholas and Pandyas you have written features but forgot to write names of temples as examples.
Conclusion is fine but it’s very lengthy. Concise it.
Both intro and conclusion should not be longer then 4-5 lines.
Always remember that you need to devote 3/4 space to the main body of the answer. That too You need Write with in word limit. So use space wisely.
Overall a fine Attempt. And I believe you can do better.
Keep Practicing 🙂
6.5/15
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Kindly review @Swatantra sir
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