“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer with writing briefly about Mathura School, its timeline, area, royal patronage etc
In body part write about North-West contemporary but focus on how Mathura school was different from it.
Conclude your answer highlighting rich and diverse history of Indian sculpture form of art.
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Naresh,
You have written a fine answer.
Introduction is good just also mention the timeline (i.e. 1st century BC-5th Century AD),
You have covered almost the aspects of the question. Since you have mentioned that the soul remained same, so to complete the answer it would be better if you mention some similarities as well.
For better presentation divide your main body in sub heading like Geographical region, Foreign influence, Religion Etc., this will also help you in space management.
Overall a fine attempt. Keep Writing 🙂
Please review
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Aabha,
Your introduction is fine.
Also you have enough knowledge about this question, but you have written a very factual answer.
In main body of the answers various features of the sculptures covers the major portion which is just a part of the answer not the whole answer, add more points like Patronage, religion, foreign influence etc.
Better way to present this comparison either use a broad heading like geographical area, foreign influence, than comparing features of both the school of art or going by the table form of comparison.
Work upon the structuring and presentation of the question.
read others’ answers as well, Keep writing 🙂
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Vishal,
Your intro is fine but there is a factual error, Mathura school flourished between 1st century BC to 5th century AD.
You have presented the comparison well, but there is intermixing of point like under area of influence try to avoid such small errors.
Conclusion is also good.
Overall answer is well written, Keep Writing 🙂
Please review Sir
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Utkarsha,
Your introduction is fine but it can be improved by talking about the Schools asked in the question.
It’s good you depicted locations on map but always label your map.
Before jumping directly to the comparison part write at least 1-2 lines so to maintain the flow in the answer.
In comparison you can add points like folk influence, also writing various features of buddha statues.
Conclusion must be linked with question asked that link is missing in your conclusion otherwise what you have suggested is good.
Also please remember that you’ll get two pages for a 10 makes question in UPSC, so use that much standard space it’ll help you in space management in mains.
You have enough knowledge just need to work upon the presentation.
Keep writing 🙂
3.5/10
#0000417593
Sakshi,
Introduction is aptly justifies the demand of the question.
Structure and presentation is also fine.
Way of presenting comparison is also fine.
There is nothing much left to add just to make your answer more impactful you could have written few similarities as well.
Overall it’s a good Attempt.
Keep writing 😉
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Shubashree
It seems you have fine understanding of the question.
But there is repetition of points in your answer, try to avoid that.
Your intro is good, here you can club first two paragraphs briefly write about these schools of art with fewer details so that you have enough content to write in core part of the answer i.e. comparison.
Also in comparison try to write subsection, it would be easier for examiner to identify differences and will reflect depth of your understanding.
In second paragraph you talked about similarities, but they haven’t mentioned in answer, it makes an answer incomplete.
Conclusion is written very well.
You have enough knowledge just improvements needed in presentation and structure of the answer.
Read Others’ answer as well. Keep writing 🙂
3.5/10
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Gauri Shankar,
We can’t put a strict year of origin for something like art so rather than pointing out specific years try to write between 1st century BC to 6th Century AD.
Also you need to write briefly about Gandhara Art before jumping to comparison portion
Way of writing comparison is good just try to put subheadings for better presentation like Patronage, Religion etc.
Also having images from multiple religion doesn’t make an art secular. However There are evidence of secular art in Mathura School such as images of Yaksha Yakshinis, Bust of a kings like Kanishka Etc.
Mentioning few similarities would made your answer complete.
Conclusion can also be written better.
Read others’ answer as well. Keep practicing:)
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Anupam,
Your introduction is fine.
In main body you must write briefly about both of these schools before jumping to the comparison.
Way of comparison is good here you can add more headers like Patronage, secular images like Yaksha, metal arts in Mathura none under Gandhara etc
Also you can point out few similarities as well. it would make your answer
Conclusion is fine but can be improved.
Read others’ answer as well. Keep writing 🙂
3.5/10
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Sir, in point no. 4 and 5 I have intermixed (written Mathura school’s point under Gandhara and vice versa) out of error. Please factor that in.
Shikhar,
Your introduction is fine.
Write also briefly about the Gandhara school of art like origin time period etc.
In main section, though you pointed out, avoid doing such mistakes
In this section try to divide under various sub headings like Patronage ( Mathura school was patronised by Sungas, Kushans and by Gupta’s as well), Geographical Region etc.
Also mention in detail facial features, expression etc.
Add more points in the part.
Reason for difference seems repetition of your arguments. Better would be to write few similarities between both the school.
Conclusion is fine. Your presentation is good
Keep writing:)
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Santosh,
Introduction to the answer can be written better.
Also before jumping to the comparisons, write briefly about both the schools of art.
It’s good that you have drawn a map but always label your map and diagram.
Core aspect of the question i.e. Comparison have written well.
Also it’s good that you’ve written similarities but more details would be better.
Conclusion is missing, without which answer is incomplete.
You have good knowledge but must improve your expression of the arguments.
Keep writing that’s the only way you can improve:)
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Ehtasham,
Introduction to the question is good but it’s too long.
Also write briefly about Mathura and Gandhara Art here itself.
Going by your answer it seems you have fine idea about the topic.
But the you failed to justify the demand of the question. You need to improve arrangement of the arguments.
Question doesn’t ask you to list down the features of Mathura art only.
Here you need to give proper comparison between Both the school, you can write it under various headings that you have already used.
Use last to part of your answer to write in way to compare.
Also, Conclusion is missing in your answer, always conclude your answer.
Read answers written by others and Keep practicing:)
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Arpit,
Introduction is fine but you must keep in mind that we can’t pin point any specific year as the starting point for something like Art so rather than writing specific centuries write first century BC to 5th century AD.
In main body use subheadings so to make it clear to the examiner on what lines you have made the comparison, also add more points like material used, folk influence ect.
Adding few points of similarities will make this answer complete.
In the end your conclusion is really good.
Keep writing 🙂
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Vamshidhar
Intro to the answer can be improved upon, you can club first to paragraphs and write the whole idea into one as a brief introduction.
Also Mathura School of art emerged under Sungas and reached at its Zenith under Kushans (not developed but flourished).
In main body for better presentation also you can give subheading to each comparison to make it easily distinguishable. You have covered differences section really well, here you can also add points like folk secular tradition, geographic location etc.
Also write down few similarities as well.
Conclusion is not upto the mark of your knowledge, you can write it better.
Keep practicing 🙂
#0000416168 please review
Please avoid it ..in have posted my answers later here first page is missing
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Sumita
You have written a very long intro, intro must be limited to the one paragraph. Here you can club first paragraphs into one.
After writing briefly in 2-3 lines about both the school come to the main aspect of the question which is the comparison between two school of arts you Started it from the Second page
Here you can add point of comparison like Patronage, Folk tradition etc.
Before writing conclusion, add few points of similarities like common patrons, dominance of religious themes etc..
Conclusion is fine.
You have fine knowledge about the topic, better arrangement of the arguments will help you scoring good marks.
Keep writing 🙂
3.5/10
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Deepali
Intro to the answer is fine but there is a factual error Mathura school didn’t emerged under Khushana (rather under Sungas) rather it reached to its zenith of development under Kushanas. Avoid making such errors specially in intro itself.
Main body of your answer can be presented better by the use of headings and subheadings.
In this section point 1 and 3 are in conflict with each other.
Here you need to add more points.
There are few similarities also in these two schools, must write them to make it a complete answer.
Conclusion is good.
Your content is fine just need to work upon the structure and presentation of the answer.
Keep writing 🙂
3.5/10
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@Swatantra sir, my answer is still not reviewed.
Not reviewed. @Swatantra Sir.
Maradul,
Your Answer was review yesterday itself however due to some techinical glitch didn’t got posted.
You have made a factual error in introduction itself i.e. Both Mathura and Gandhara though flourished under Kushanas didn’t emerged under Kushanas. Avoid such error especially in introduction.
There is a nice flow to be your answer. Also way of writing comparison is also Good. Which is the core part of the answer. Here you can add various patrons, religious influence, folk tradition.
One thing you can also write is the similarities between these two school of arts. This will make answer complete
Conclusion is fine.
Keep writing 🙂
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Kartikeya
Intro is simple and direct which is fine.
Before writing core part of the answer, you can briefly introduce both schools.
You have given good comparison but here you can add more points like Patronage, depiction of Folk themes, secular images, geographical regions etc
Also comparison under subheadings would be a Better way of presentation.
You can add more points to the similarities along with promotion of Mahayana. Which should be a section other than conclusion.
Answer can be concluded with pointing out the enrichment of culture by these two schools.
Overall answer is fine. But presentation can be improved upon.
Keep writing 🙂
4.5/10
Review
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi,
Your introduction and conclusion are beautifully word.
For better flow after that intro you can add another paragraph briefly introducing both the schools of art.
you have written comparison section well which is the core of the question.
you can add another section after that in which you can write few similarities in these two school.
Overall a good attempt. Keep writing 🙂
4.5/10
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Rahul,
your introduction is very long. It should not be in more than one paragraph.
Rather than writing separately details of both the schools you can just briefly describe than in one paragraph just before the comparison section. this will also give you more points to write in core section also will avoid repetition.
In core section you can also add points like features of the statues of Buddha, various patrons, folk tradition etc.
Also both schools were not “completely different” they had some similarities as well, mention them in brief after differences in a small write-up.
Conclusion is very well written.
Keep Practicing:)
Plz review sir
Siddharth,
Introduction of the answer is good.
Also there is nice flow in the answers. Both the school of are emerged before the kushanas rule.
You can use aspect that you are comparing as subheadings this will make your answer more distinguishable. Here you can add points like Patron rulers, geographical region, influence of folk tradition.
Mentioning points of similarities would add more value to the answer.
Conclusion is fibe but can be better.
Overall it is a fine attempt, Keep writing 🙂
#416440 @Swatantra sir
Late upload. Please review.
Tanushree,
You have good knowledge about the topic, however Mathura school achieved its peak under Guptas so it flourished well till Gupta age 5th century AD and extended till 12th century AD.
You have covered core aspect of the answer but structure of the answer in not good.
Use headings and subheadings for better presentation. Also maintain proper space between paragraphs so to distinguished one from another.
Try to write few similarities as well briefly.
Your conclusion is introductory in nature. Here you have to close a discussion not open. So write conclusion which give smooth end to an answer.
Read others’ answers as well, Keep writing 🙂
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Vishnu,
Introduction must be directly are to the topic. Your introduction is remotely linked and too long.
You can club first two paragraphs and write an intro in one para of 3-4 lines.
You have to made a comparison between the two schools of art.
On various lines like Patronage, type of material used, religious influence. But this comparison is not very clear in your answer.
Conclusion also can be improved upon.
Read the answers written by others you’ll get better idea.
Read more about the topic.
Read the question properly, understand the demand, take your time and frame the answer in your mind than write it down.
Keep writing, that the only way to can improve 🙂
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Vivek,
You have written good introduction and conclusion.
Also addressed the core demand of the question i.e. comparison.
However you need to understand that as per the question Mathura art is primary art that you have to compare with the Gandhara not the other way around. So you must give more importance to Mathura school in the answer.
Add more points of comparison, also write few points of similarities.
Read others’ answer as well.
Keep writing 🙂
3.5/10
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Shivanshu
In the introduction you must give few Details about the art schools like geographical area and time period they flourished it.
The core demand of the question is to compare between Mathura school and Gandhara school.
But you have written only features of Mathura school, which do not justifies the demand also there are few vague points like Indian way of ornaments if you less points use such points in the end.
Try to read question properly, understand the demand, take your time, frame the answer in mind than write.
Conclusion to the answer can also be written in better way.
Refer to mentor’s comments and others’ answer for better understanding. Keep writing:)
#0000416426
@Swatantra
Sir I had uploaded 3 days back but I can’t see my post here. If you are able to see that please consider this as duplicate.
Rupesh,
Your introduction Is good. but here you just introduce both the schools and use points like religions that depicted or foreign influence which you have written in first two paragraphs in mains section of the answer i.e. comparison.
it would give you more points to write in core section also will avoid repetition plus helps in maintaining the organic flow in the answer.
You have shown your artistic prowess in the answer but draw it for both or avoid at all, such rough sketches doesn’t look good so better to avoid at all.
Points from 2-4 can be clubbed under just one heading i.e. Features of Buddha’s sculpture, such writing will not fetch you marks. write point diverse in nature.
Write also few points of similarities.
conclusion is fine.
Read more about the topic, Work upon the structure of the answer.
Read answers’ written by fellow aspirants.
Keep writing answers, that’s the only way you can improve.