“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer with defining rare earth elements.
In body first talk about their distribution and reserves in India. Then point out the reasons for India’s dependence on imports especially on China.
In next part mention their importance and uses in industries and implication on national security especially energy security.
Suggest way forward.
Conclude suitably
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal ,
Your Introduction is fine.
Draw a map in reserves section.
India have 5th largest reserves. As of 2018, China had 36.7 per cent of the world’s rare earth deposits, Brazil has 22 per cent, Vietnam 18 per cent, Russia 10 per cent and India has 5.8 per cent.
In dependency section bring in The process to obtain rare earths is environmentally destructive and produces radioactive waste. China has lax environmental laws and has endless expanses of deserts and areas where nobody lives.
In the last section you need to Inculcate more strategic angle by pointing of India’s import dependence on china. China had a crippling monopoly where it could use it for price manipulation and arm twisting as seen in Japans case.
Rest is fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
5.5/15
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Shubhashree,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
In reserves Inculcate indian ocean region as well.
In Import dependency section add more points such as lack of technical capacity, some of REM are radioactive in nature in which only GoI have monopoly.
In Importance Section add more points for Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation etc.
Rest is fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
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Krishna,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
India have 5th largest reserves. As of 2018, China had 36.7 per cent of the world’s rare earth deposits, Brazil has 22 per cent, Vietnam 18 per cent, Russia 10 per cent and India has 5.8 per cent.
In Import dependency section add points from technical, environment and legal perspective.
In Importance Section bring in more clarity about strategic importance section. Point out China’s monopoly and it’s implications for nations security, use of it by China for arm twisting, price manipulation etc.
Suggest some measures as well.
Rest is fine. Keep writing:)
6.5/15
ref id- #0000422539
Mradul,
Overall all you have Written a fine Answer. Content is good, structure is also fine.
However in Import dependence section also write legal and environmental angle.
In Importance Section add more points for Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc.
Rest is fine. keep writing on the same lines Keep practicing 🙂
7.5/15
#0000422288
Kindly review
Sonal,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
India have around 5.8% of World’s reserves.
Overall you have Written a fine answer. Content is good, structure is also fine.
However for Further improvement you can Inculcate a map of India in reserves distribution section.
Write first paragraph on second page under strategic section also bring in angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc.
Rest is good.
Upload clear pictures, use grey scale in your scanner.
Keep writing 🙂
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Abhaa ,
For improvement one is not supposed to repeat mistakes.
1. Write short Introduction.
2. Always label your maps diagrams
3. Address all the Aspects
4. Always write Suggestions whenever we talk about potential or challenge
5. Three pages for a 15 marks Question
India have 5th largest reserves. As of 2018, China had 36.7 per cent of the world’s rare earth deposits, Brazil has 22 per cent, Vietnam 18 per cent, Russia 10 per cent and India has 5.8 per cent.
Add more areas in reserves like western Rajasthan, indian ocean region.
Write more points in Import dependency section bring in legal and Environmental aspects.
In the last section you need to Inculcate more strategic angle by pointing of India’s import dependence on china. China had a crippling monopoly where it could use it for price manipulation and arm twisting as seen in Japans case etc.
Read others’ answers. Keep Practicing:)
4.5/15
Review sir
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
You’ve missed to write distribution of reserves in India. Draw a map also for it.
Bring in environment and legal aspect in Import dependency section.
Write more in concern issue of national security, points for Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation etc.
Rest is fine.
Keep Practicing 🙂
Payment I’d 115009045817
Santosh,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are written good.
Content is also fine. But you need to improve your presentation. Distinguish clearly various sections.
Add indian ocean region for reserves.
In Import dependence section you have written lack of demand. India is one of largest manufacturer in the world it’s have huge demand for it.
Bring in environmental and legal a angle. The process to obtain rare earths is environmentally destructive and produces radioactive waste. India has rigid environmental laws compared to China.
In Importance Section points for Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc.
Also instead of privatisation we need to seek liberalisation here. Some of the rare earth material are nuclear and radio active till now only govt of India have monopoly to extract such material. India can’t risk of privatisation of such sensitive industry.
Rest is fine. Keep writing:)
6.5/10
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Kartikey,
You have written a very Answer. There is nice flow in the answer. All the Aspect are dealt with adequately.
You can add environment and legal angle in your import dependence section. Process of extraction and processing is environmentally polluting and India have rigid laws compared to China.
In Suggestions you can bring in cooperation with like minded nations such as QUAD to check Chinese monopoly.
Rest is good.
Upload clear picture.
Keep Practicing:)
Payment Id: pay HFrdyJMOEZ9967. Please review, Sir.
Sumita,
Your Introduction well articulated.
You can draw a map on India to show reserves regions.
It has been pointed out to you earlier as well to concise your points. Just make a argument and support it by a fact that is enough no need to go in details as you have done in Import dependence section. use space saved to Add more points on technological, environmental and legal aspects.
In Importance Section add more points for Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc.
Conclusion is fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
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Ankita,
Your Introduction is fine.
India have around 5.8% of global reserves but it produce around 1% of the world’s total production. Hence import dependence.
Mold your arguments in Import dependence section to make them India centric not China.
In next section you need to point out for Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc.
Conclusion is well articulated.
You have shown good improvement in terms of presentation and structure in this answer. Keep it up.
And Keep Practicing 🙂
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one page that missed
Rajesh,
Your Introduction is fine.
You need to add more regions where REMs are found. Draw a map for it.
Stick to the demand of the question. Structure of production can be avoided it’s not asked in the question. Rather use it as point in your next section.
Write headings which are more relatable to the question. First point out India’s dependence on imports then write challenges. In this section bring in environmental and legal aspects.
In the significance section write add more points for Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc.
In way forward add cooperation with like minded country such as QUAD nations to counter China’s monopoly.
Conclusion is written Fine.
Read others a answers for better understanding Keep practicing:)
Payment I’d HHU8LODcXby9Db
Arpit,
There is a factual error in your Introduction. China have around 37% of REM reserves not 90%. Though it produces around 60-85% REM of the world (as per various reports).
In reserve section you need to show areas where reserves are found in India. Draw a map for it.
In Reasons section bring in You can add environment and legal angle. Process of extraction and processing is environmentally polluting and India have rigid laws compared to China.
In next section you need to separately point out strategic importance.
Bring in Strategic angle such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting as China done with Japan over conflict on shenkaku Islands, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc. That’s why self dependence is Important.
Suggest way forward in more detail.
And always write Conclusion separately from your way forward.
Read others’ answers. Keep Practicing 🙂
5.5/15
Payment Id : 115213946268
Vivek,
Your Introduction is very well articulated.
However you need to address all the Aspects of the question satisfactorily.
Write about the regional where reserves are present in India. Draw a map for it.
Use headings which are more relatable to the question. In Structural problems angle bring in legal angle as well some of REM are radioactive in nature in which only GoI have monopoly to safeguard national security, also extraction is environmentally polluting and India have rigid environment laws.
In Importance Section you need to clearly depict strategic angle. Write points such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting as China done with Japan over conflict on shenkaku Islands, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc. That’s why self dependence is Important.
Rest is fine.
Read others’ answer for better understanding. Keep Practicing 🙂
Kindly review @Swatantra sir
Ref id 420326
Deepali,
For scoring good you need to stick to the key demand of the question. Do not beat around the bush like you did in your whole first page. This question specifically deals with REM not in general with minerals.
You have addressed the question only on second pages that too is very haphazardly Written and is very generic in nature.
Essentially you to write in the question that despite India have 5.6% of world’s total reserves, 5th largest, in the world India produces only 1% of REM at present and largely dependent on import specially from China.
Then you need to write reasons for it.
Then you need to write Importance of REM for industry and their strategic importance such as threat Vis-a-vis China’s monopoly- arm twisting as China done with Japan over conflict on shenkaku Islands, price manipulation, challenge to national security etc. That’s why self dependence is Important.
Then suggest way forward.
Read question properly. Understand it’s demand. Take help of Mentor’s Comments.
Read others’ good answers for better understanding Keep Practicing:)
pay_HH4AoVE2qPd386 please review @Swatantra