“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer with some facts related to cement industry in India.
Mention the major regions of cement industry and write down various the factors that determine the location of cement industry like raw material, market location etc.
Next bring out various challenges faced by the industry.
Then write some steps taken by government.
Suggest measures to overcome challenges faced by the industry.
Conclude suitably.
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal ,
Your Introduction is fine but can be written Better. Use facts India is second largest producer of cement only behind China.
Add more factors like power and coal availability, export outlets- Gujarat region etc.
In Challenges section Support your arguments with facts otherwise they are very generic in nature.
Always write detailed suggestions where ever you write challenges it gives constructive outlook to an answer.
Conclusion is fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
3.5/10
Payment Id pay_HHlJ1R1WIIMdGT
Gauri Shankar,
Your Introduction is well articulated.
Other than your Introduction you have written a very generic answer.
You need to add more points in each section. Talk about location of market NCR region, Railways connectivity- eastern India, export outlet- Gujrat region.
In challenge talk about issues like Glut, rise cost of raw materials such as fly ash, disruptions in supply chain, closed humid free railway wagons availability etc. You need to write facts to support your Arguments. What other material are giving competition mention their name.
It has been pointed out to you earlier as well always write suggestions for improvement whenever you write challenges.
Address all the Aspects properly and Keep Practicing 🙂
Payment I’d 115009045817
Santosh,
Your Introduction is good. However mention states like Andhra, Rajasthan, MP etc which are top producer in India.
In Second second concise your points and written more points with 1-2 lines that you have clubbed under point 3. So use location as examples that are due to such factors eg. Raw material availability- Rajasthan and MP, export outlet- Gujarat etc.
Draw a map.
In next section you have written a very generic points and some of which dont even apply- in india govt don’t regulate cement prices though it’s considering to appoint a regulator to curb cartelization, Indian cement industry dominated by private sector uses high end technology. Add here points like issue of Glut, economic slowdown marring infrastructure sector etc
Suggestions are generic. Add better points here too.
Read more about the topic. Keep Practicing:)
Payment Id: pay HFrdyJMOEZ9967. Please review, Sir.
Sumita,
Your Introduction is well Written.
In factors section again you have stretched one point too much. Concise it and add more factors like availability of Power, connectivity, market, Export outlet etc.
Draw a map of India Showing major regions.
In Challenges section prioritize your point better the issue of Glut is the biggest challenge being faced by cement industry so your last point must be you first, add more points like Economic slowdown led to contraction in construction, rising cost of raw materials such as coal, fly ash etc.
Concise your Govt intervention section and give more space to suggestions section.
Again WRITE CONCLUSION SEPARATELY FROM WAY FORWARD.
Rest is fine. Keep practicing 🙂
Razor payment id: HHOoNABVzCCLcD
Abha,
Your Introduction is fine.
Just enlisting of factors is not enough write 1-2 lines for each. Also mention region based on factors like raw material availability- Andhra, Rajasthan, MP, Market- NCR region, Export outlet- Gujarat etc.
In Challenges Section most of your point can be clubbed under one point adequate and continuous availability of raw material. Most serious challenge faced by cement industry is Issue of Glut but you have missed that. Diversify your points.
Briefly write Govt steps and write some suggestions then only it will be a complete answer.
Keep Practicing:)
3.5/10
ORDER NO #0000422220 Please review sir.
Rajesh ,
Introduction is good.
Your need to do better space management you have used first page very liberally that what second page is haphazard.
Add examples of regions which are affected by factors you have mentioned like raw material availability- Andhra, Rajasthan, MP, Market- NCR region, Export outlet- Gujarat etc.
In Challenges you need to write better points like issue of Glut, rising cost of raw materials especially coal and fly ash, taxation Issue etc.
With better management you’ll be able to get more space so to address all the aspects justifiably.
Always Conclude your answer. It needs to be written separately from way forward.
Keep Practicing 🙂
4.5/10
Payment I’d HHU8LODcXby9Db
Arpit,
Overall you written a good Answer.
Structure, presentation is very good.
Factors are Written fine though more can be pointed out like market, location of export outlet etc.
In next sections you need to write more effective points. In Challenges Section you need to write about issue of Glut, pricing issue etc.
In forward mention NIP, Smart City, and regulator as Govt’s thinking about it for pricing issue.
Rest is fine.
Keep writing:)
4.5/10
pay_HHogiMPYpQ87sC
Kartikey ,
Introduction can be Written Better use facts like India is second largest producer of cement in the world.
Factors are Written fine but you need to mention areas to which cement industry rose up based of said factor such as raw material availability- Andhra, Rajasthan, MP, Market- NCR region, Export outlet- Gujarat etc.
Draw a small map also.
In Challenges you need to add more effective points for which industry itself is vocal such as issue of Glut, pricing conflict with builders etc.
Make it a rule to write Suggestions whenever you write Challenges or hurdles in realisation of some potential. It should be Written SEPARATELY from Conclusion.
Rest is fine.
Keep Practicing:)
3.5/10
Review Sir
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi ,
Overall you have Written a good Answer. Following are few points to improve-
1. Don’t make a habit of Writing on margins UPSC levy heavy penalties for it.
2. Add more factors like logistics- eastern India, location of Export outlets-Gujrat.
3. In Challenges you need to mention issues for which industry itself is vocal such as Issue of Glut, pricing conflict with builders etc.
4. Add suggestions on the same line like for pricing govt is thinking about regulator etc.
Rest is fine. Overall good Attempt.
Keep writing:)
pay_HH1EGxOD3EGEhl pls review@Swatantra sir
Shubhashree ,
Your Introduction is fine.
You have covered all the Aspects of the question.
But content is generic.
In factors your first three points are essentially same. Avoid repetition rather add more factora here like market, export outlet etc.
In Challenges you need to mention issues for which industry itself is vocal such as Issue of Glut, pricing conflict with builders etc.
In way Forward too you need to add more points.
Conclusion is fine.
Pls upload clear pictures.
Keep Practicing 🙂
4.5/10
Payment id-HJHAZEWKSzM3CX
Ankita ,
You your Introduction is lengthy you need to concise it. Paragraph written on Second page will be better used as Introduction.
You must combine location as factors together. With Factors, you need to mention areas to which cement industry rose up based of said factor such as raw material availability- Andhra, Rajasthan, MP, Market- NCR region, Export outlet- Gujarat etc.
It will save you space in which you can write Suggestions and Conclusion.
In Challenges you need to mention Issue of Glut, pricing conflict with builders etc.
Always
Manage your space better. You are showing good Improvement. Make it a rule to write Suggestions whenever you write Challenges or hurdles in realisation of some potential. It should be Written SEPARATELY from Conclusion.
Keep Practicing 🙂
3.5/10
Kindly review @Swatantra sir
Ref id 420326
pay_HH4AoVE2qPd386 please review @Swatantra