“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction-
write about the Sufi and Bhakti movements, time line, importance etc, in brief.
Body-
in first section depict their impact of vernacular languages of each part of India i.e. south, east west and north.
In next section bring out the impact on life and thought of the people such as religious reforms, reconciliation between Hinduism and Islam and foster friendly and cooperative community living, caste discriminations, position of women etc. Use teachings of various saints and teachers of Bhakti movements to substantiate your arguments.
Conclude with remarks showing the wide spread effect of these movements which can be felt in modern times as well.
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Gauri Shankar,
Your Introduction is fine but it can be Written Better give brief description of Movements.
In first section you have covered mainly Hindi and it’s dialects. Add more languages such as Gujarati, Marathi, and languages of southern India as well.
Second Section is written well but it can be more effective by quoting various teachings of reformers.
Structure and presentation is good but you need to improve content.
Read more about the topic. Keep Practicing 🙂
5.5/15
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Shubhashree,
Your Introduction is very well articulated.
There are two parts of the question that you had to address.
You have just briefly referred to the first part i.e. impact on vernacular language. Write this part in detail.
Second section has written very well. You can quote teachings of various reformers to add value in your answer.
Conclusion is fine.
Give equitable regard to each part of the question.
Keep Practicing 🙂
Please review
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Utkarsha,
Bhakti movement in south goes back to the time Alvars and Nayanars. Avoid making factual errors in your answer specially in Introduction.
Rough sketch you have drawn is very informal and doesn’t look good. Dont draw such diagrams you are going to write most prestigious exam of the country. Maintain its dignity.
At this stage you shouldn’t repeat mistake which have been pointed out to you earlier like always label your map or diagrams.
Content wise answer is well written.
To make second section more effective you can quote teachings of various reformers.
Conclusion is very well articulated but it’s too long. Concised with same ideas can make it more meaningful.
Keep Practicing 🙂
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Ankita,
You have written one page long Introduction. It would be better if you’d written brief discription of these Movements with timeline and core philosophy in Introduction.
There is no need to write evolution and features of both movements SEPARATELY. Inculcate them in your answer while addressing core demand of the question.
In first section you should write in detail impact on vernacular language quoting writing Various reformers. Like Marathi- Dhyaneshwar, Tukaram, Gujrati- Narsinh Mehta, Assamese- Shankardeva etc.
And cover language from Southern part of India as well.
Second section is written fine but you need to write more points here also quote teachings of various reformers to make it more effective.
Points written in Conclusion add in second section and conclude your answer by pointing out long term impact of these Movements on India.
Keep Practicing:)
Ref id 422329
Vishal ,
Your Introduction is good. But rest of the answer is very generic. You have Written both the Sections but quality of your arguments is not impactful.
The way you have used first pages seems like you just want to fill the page somehow.
Read more about the topic give depth to your arguments .
In first section you need to depict impact in vernacular languages. Almost all the vernacular language of India have influence of these Movements. Quote names of various saints or reformers who have written in these languages like Gujrati-Narsinh Mehta, Marathi-Dhyaneshwar, Tukaram, Assamese- Shankardev, Bengali- Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Tamil- Alvars and Nayanars, Telugu- Nannaya, Tikanna, Kannada- Lingayatas etc.
In Second Section apart from Religion Inculcate more aspects like caste discrimination, position of women, add Political thinking of Rulers affected by these Movements especially Akbar etc.
Your Conclusion is good but the way you have Written your answer it’s rather seems Hollow.
Read others’ answers for better understanding and gather more knowledge on the topic.
Keep Practicing:)
4.5/15
Plzz someone review 🙏
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Sumita ,
Your have good content you need to arrange your arguments as per the Demand of the question.
You have used whole first page as your Introduction. Concise it and write in brief the basic nature of both the Movements in Introduction. And use Arguements written here in the second section of the Question.
Your structure of the answer is poor. Always divide your section as per the question.
In first part add more languages especially from Southern India and write about 1-2 lines for each language.
In second part write impact separately from languages section.
With same content but with better presentation your answer can be more meaningful.
You must understand for getting good marks having content is not enough is should be presented as per the question.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
6.5/15
Review
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi,
I am not awarding you any marks as you have not uploaded you answer properly.
I am commenting as per the your uploaded pages. You have written reformers centric answer which is not apt for the question. Rathar you need to Depict impact of these Movements as a whole on languages and life and thought of common people.
So make languages your headings in first part and impact on life and thought in second. And mold your argument as per the demand of the question.
Be more careful while uploading your answer.
Keep practicing 🙂
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Kartikey,
Your Introduction is Good. But you can write better Conclusion.
There is good flow in your answer. Arguments are well arranged. Structure is also fine.
Content wise too answer is good However you can add more points in each section like Tamil, telugu, Assamese, Bengali etc in first section.
Issues of Women, rituals etc in the second.
Overall a very good Attempt. Keep Practicing 🙂
7.5/15
Kindly review @Swatantra sir
Ref id 420326