Mentor’s Comments-
- Introduction should state some recent facts about gender wage disparity and some of the reasons for it.
- Main body should explain that how gender wage disparity is rooted into discrimination of women at various institutional levels.
- Conclude with some measures to remedy this situation of Gender wage disparity.
I want answer sir
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Sir
Razor ID: #0000466569
Siddharth
Introduction is fine. After that you have mentioned examples, that is good but keep it concise. Mention reasons for this gender wage disparity..patriarchal mindset, family values(discrimination b/w boy and girl); less women in higher education/STEM, glass ceiling in both govt and private organizations, less political participation as seen in parliament and legislatures etc
Legislative issues are mentioned in detail and are good..mention it along with other reasons.
A brief way forward before concluding based on above points can be mentioned.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep writing. 🙂
I’d.. 0000486418
Id0000486418
Hello
Intro is fine but if you can mention some data about wage disparity or even the Gender Gap report, it will be better.
Points mentioned in reasons are fine. You can also mention less women in higher education/STEM- skill gap, glass ceilings in organizations etc. However, keep the part succinct..use flowcharts/diagrams to organize better.
Also mention a way forward before concluding.
Keep writing. 🙂
Razorpay:I8GfoK9Ze5ifgl
Nandhini
Introduction is good, status of wage gap is also good but a bit lengthy..you can avoid some points..as you have taken too much space making one point..you can use that in mentioning reasons.
Reasons mentioned by you are fine..some dimensions are missing such as political- mention about low representation of women in parliament/state legislatures..lesser policies in their favour..even where law is there it is not followed in letter and spirit(eg- equal remuneration act 1976); glass ceiling in organisations; lesser hiring by companies due to maternity responsibilities etc; lower % of womebn in higher education/STEM leads to skill gaps which further exacerbates disparity…societal dimensions you have covered well.
Way forward is good, conclusion is also fine.
Keep writing. 🙂
4.5/10
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Muskan
In intro, you have mentioned one of the reasons that is patriarchal mindset…mention it in 2nd part. You can begin by giving some data about wage disparity b/w genders or even the gender gap report where India is ranked lowly.
Bullet points are good, but elaboration can be better in some places- for example in political reasons mention about low representation of women in parliament/state legislatures..lesser policies in their favour..even where law is there it is not followed in letter and spirit(eg- equal remuneration act 1976).
Also you can mention about glass ceiling in organisations; lesser hiring by companies due to maternity responsibilities etc
Conclusion is fine but a brief way forward before that can be mentioned,
Keep writing. 🙂