Mentor’s Comments-
- Introduce the answer by writing about significance of the Himalayas for South Asia.
- Bring out the factors that are responsible for the melting of Himalayas.
- Bring out the impact of melting of glaciers in the Himalayas on the region.
- Conclude accordingly.
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Karun
You have mentioned the significance in intro itself, better you can broadly talk about Himalayas in intro and then write a subsection on significance.
Blocking of Siberian winds and creating favourable monsoon conditions are good points, further you can mention its importance as a water source(presence of glaciers) ; acts as a natural boundary, source for hydroelectricity, presence of biodiversity etc
Factors mentioned are good, anthropogenic activities like tourism, infra building can be added.
Impacts mentioned are also okay, again geopolitical due to water shortage and mass migration can be added.
Conclusion is good.
Overall good attempt, content and structure of the answer both are almost okay.
Keep practicing.
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Likhitha
Good attempt.
Intro is fine, you have mentioned the significance, plus you can add that Himalayas act as natural borders as well as presence of rich biodiversity.
Factors mentioned are good, in the black carbon point you can mention the reduction of albedo which increases melting.
Impacts are also fine, give some recent examples of GLOFs(Uttarakhand disaster) ; it may give rise to geopolitical tensions due to water shortage- can be mentioned.
Way forward and conclusion are good.
Keep practicing. 🙂
5.5/10
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Anoop
Nice attempt.
Content and presentation both are fine. However, you have missed the impacts part.
Introduction is fine, significance is also well written.
Factors mentioned are also very good, nice use of diagram.
Next mention a section on impacts- glacial lake outburst floods(Uttarakhand disaster), might lead to drying up of rivers, water shortage can also cause geopolitical tensions, mass migration, might effect monsoon patterns etc
Conclusion is fine.
Keep practicing. 🙂
4.5/10