Mentor’s Comments-
- In introduction, define malnutrition.
- In the body, discuss the effect of malnutrition on different sections of society such as women, children, marginalized sections etc
- Write a brief way forward.
- Conclude accordingly.
No. 1 UPSC IAS Platform for preparation
Mentor’s Comments-
Razorpay orderID: KaV0C7aA9qwW8k
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Rao
Decent attempt.
You have understood the question well, presentation is fine too. However, you can do some value addition.
Introduction is fine, you can use the keywords associated with malnutrition-stunting, wasting, underweight, obesity etc
Next part is fine..effect on different sections is shown. Use some data to substantiate your points..you can use the recent NFHS data. (19% of women in the 15-49 age group are underweight , 24 % of women are now overweight, 57% women aged 15-49 were anaemic, 32% of all under-five children in India are underweight, 35% are stunted, 19% are wasted, and 68% are anaemic, 40% of children from SC, ST and OBCs are stunted). Use of flowchart is good, while talking about women and children, you can mention some causes there too.
Steps taken are fine, before concluding a brief way forward could be mentioned.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep practicing. 🙂
7.5/15
KPfn46R1gsfT12 -My Razorpay ID
Shubham
Decent attempt.
In introduction, you can use the keywords associated with malnutrition-stunting, wasting, underweight, obesity etc to define it.
Next part is fine, presentation can be improved a bit. Use data related to particular section in that part only, for example stunting data related to children is mentioned in some other section(mention it when you talk about children).
Sections on impact of malnutrition on women (19% of women in the 15-49 age group are underweight , 24 % of women are now overweight, 57% women aged 15-49 were anaemic), tribal and marginalized population (40% of children from SC, ST and OBCs are stunted) can be added along with mentioning some causes for it.
Other parts are fine, when talking about poor, you can draw the flow chart showing connect between poverty- illiteracy-unemployment-malnutrition. Also, avoid repetition (for example, kwashiorkar, marasmus have been repeated).
Way forward and conclusion part is fine.
Keep practicing. Check out the model answers. 🙂
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Payment Idpay_KbP4ZbGolDMldc
Abhishek
Decent attempt, knowledge of the topic is good but value addition is required.
Introduction is decent enough, you can keep it a bit short, no need to mention individual ranks of other countries.
In next part, you need data to establish how malnutrition affects different section of society. So, instead of looking at it as a class issue, you can mention how it affects women; children; tribals and marginalized; poor sections etc. NFHS-5 data could come in handy here and will be impactful too(19% of women in the 15-49 age group are underweight , 24 % of women are now overweight, 57% women aged 15-49 were anaemic, 32% of all under-five children in India are underweight, 35% are stunted, 19% are wasted, and 68% are anaemic, 40% of children from SC, ST and OBCs are stunted).
Causes for this can be mentioned briefly in each section. (Poverty, low availability of food etc have been mentioned by you, just arrange it properly). In case of poors sections you can draw the flow chart showing the connect between poverty- illiteracy-unemployment-malnutrition. Such diagrams can break the monotony of the answer.
Steps taken are written well. Conclusion is also fine, you can suggest a brief way forward before that. 15 markers usually should be written in 2.5-3 pages, so you have that scope here.
Keep practicing. 🙂
thank u so much sir…i ll definitly work on it.
pay_KZxNayOScriFev
Hello
Introduction first para is fine. Causes can be avoided here, you can mention the causes in brief for particular strata when you write about them. In this way, you can be specific(for example, when talking about malnutrition in women you can talk about patriarchy, social norms; when talking about tribals you can mention low literacy, inaccessibility to resources etc, while talking about poor you can show the connect between poverty- illiteracy-unemployment-malnutrition.)
In next part, sections on women and children are good. Instead of men, you can talk about tribals, poor and marginalized etc. Some data to show the impact of malnutrition will be good. NFHS-5 data can be used (19% of women in the 15-49 age group are underweight , 24 % of women are now overweight, 57% women aged 15-49 were anaemic, 32% of all under-five children in India are underweight, 35% are stunted, 19% are wasted, and 68% are anaemic, 40% of children from SC, ST and OBCs are stunted). Obesity among the rich can also be mentioned.
Government steps taken are fine, you can integrate with a way forward because government steps are not asked exclusively.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep practicing. 🙂
6.5/15
pay_KaRyPM2bJjqanb Staff@CD