“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction
Write about the present status of elderly population and briefly discuss the problems of old age population.
Body-
Substantive part of the answer should cover challenges from policy point of view. Use examples to discuss the three aspects:
Design (challenges in core aspects of the scheme)
Development (challenges such as in features that make the scheme effective)
Execution (implementation aspect of the schemes, outcome)
Examine whether the measures taken up by the government adequately address the challenges, and briefly mention what can be done to improve the inherent issues.
conclude suitably
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Shubhashree,
Your Introduction is good.
You have very good content to address the demand of the question. However it would be better if you could write Challenges under sperate headers as mentioned in the question i.e. design, development and exclusion rather then just writing advantage and disadvantage of schemes.
For instance you could’ve talked on lines such as:
In its design, the challenge is regarding the amount and the target population. The elderly in one state are dependent on state’s economic capacity as The centre provides a meagre amount . The states contribute according to their capacity. Similarly, you can talk about retirement ages and other issue.
In its development, there is the issue of linking the amount to minimum standards of living and indexing them to inflation (In way forward you have suggested that but fixed amount 500/month defeate the inflation linked benefit. So just write inflation adjusted pension benefits )
Then Point out issue like feminisation and ruralisation of old age population.
In execution there are issues of governance, i.e. making the scheme easily accessible. “Old Age” is usually associated with declining faculties, both mental and physical; so must tackle this issue. JAM Trinity reduce leakages and Lack Digital literacy is a hurdle.
Giving more analysis in question like this will help you fetching good marks.
Rest is fine. Keep writing 🙂
Please check
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Sahaj ,
First of all you should write a 15 marks question in 3 pages. Follow standard UPSC format.
India centric Introduction with some fact related to elderly population would have been more effective.
You have identified the Challenges and suggested way forward which is good but in this question you need to give more analysis related to Challenges in design, developement and execution of the scheme. It would be better if you could divide Challenges under these headers.
In its design, the challenge is regarding the amount and the target population. The elderly in one state are dependent on state’s economic capacity as the centre provides a meagre amount (few hundred rupees). The states contribute according to their capacity. Similarly, you can talk about retirement ages and other issue.
In its development, there is the issue of linking the amount to minimum standards of living and indexing them to inflation, then Point out issue like feminisation and ruralisation of old age population.
In execution there are issues of governance, i.e. making the scheme easily accessible. “Old Age” is usually associated with declining faculties, both mental and physical; so must tackle this issue. JAM Trinity reduce leakages and Lack Digital literacy is a hurdle.
Also in way Forward you must address all the Challenges that you have identified for a complete answer.
Conclusion is missing. You must always Conclude your answer.
Keep writing 🙂
3.5/15
Payment:0000382105
Jaya,
Your Introduction is Good but it’s very lengthy. It should not be longer then 4-5 lines. Concise it.
Also use 3 pages for a 15 marks question.
In this question you have the content but the you have not addressed the demand of the question properly.
It doesn’t ask you to write only various schemes and issues with them. Rather you need to give more detailed analysis related to Challenges in design, development and execution of the schemes. This is core part of the Question give more space to it. use schemes that you have mentioned as Supportive of your Arguements.
Here you should have talked about Challenges on lines for instance such as:
In Design- issue of the amount and the target population. Financial support to elderly in any state depends on state’s economic capacity as the centre provides a meagre amount (few hundred rupees). The states contribute according to their capacity. Similarly, you can talk about retirement ages and other issue.
In development – there is the issue of linking the amount to minimum standards of living and indexing them to inflation
Then Point out issue like feminisation and ruralisation of old age population.
In execution there are issues of governance, i.e. making the scheme easily accessible. As old age is usually associated with declining faculties, both mental and physical; so must tackle this issue. JAM Trinity reduce leakages and Lack Digital literacy is a hurdle.
In way forward Suggestions you have given are very generic. Here you need to name same best practices like German model of old age homes, Kerala’s social security net for elderly etc to make them more effective.
Conclusion is very good and moving but it lengthy like your Introduction so concise it also.
All the very Best and Keep Practicing 🙂
4.5/15
UPI Reference No.-114715258066
Murari,
Your Introduction and Conclusion both are very well articulated.
Content wise answer is very good and analysis is fine. However rather then mentioning schemes and what they aim for you should Inculcate them in your discussion.
It would be better if you could write Challenges under sperate headers as mentioned in the question i.e. design, development and exclusion rather then just enlisting them.
Also you need to diversify your discussion. Point out issue like feminisation and ruralisation of old age population, issues of governance, i.e. making the scheme easily accessible. “Old Age” is usually associated with declining faculties, both mental and physical, Lack Digital literacy is a hurdle etc.
With the addition of above points Suggestions also need to be Written. In Suggestions you need to name same best practices like German model of old age homes, Kerala’s social security net for elderly etc to make them more effective.
Conclusion is fine.
All the Best and keep Practicing 🙂
6.5/15
Payment id:: HMr05Ef3iKm52W
Sailakshami ,
This answer is not upto the mark. Content is poor and you haven’t addressed the Demand of the question.
Improve your Introduction. Give some fact in the Introduction related to the elderly population of India.
In body you have essentially written about the schemes/steps by the Govt and Thier issues and improvements. This is not the demand of the question.
You need to approach this question holistically. you need to give more detailed analysis related to Challenges in design, development and execution of the schemes. This is core demand of the Question. use schemes that you have mentioned as Supportive of your Arguements.
Here you should have talked about Challenges on lines for instance such as:
In Design- issue of the amount and the target population. Financial support to elderly in any state depends on state’s economic capacity as the centre provides a meagre amount (few hundred rupees). The states contribute according to their capacity. Similarly, you can talk about retirement ages and other issue.
In development – there is the issue of linking the amount to minimum standards of living and indexing them to inflation
Then Point out issue like feminisation and ruralisation of old age population.
In execution there are issues of governance, i.e. making the scheme easily accessible. As old age is usually associated with declining faculties, both mental and physical; so must tackle this issue. JAM Trinity reduce leakages and Lack Digital literacy is a hurdle.
In way forward Suggestions you have given are very generic. Here you need to name some best practices like German model of old age homes, Kerala’s social security net for elderly etc to make them more effective.
Conclusion is fine but can be written Better
All the very Best and Keep Practicing 🙂
Payment id-HJHAZEWKSzM3CX
Ankita ,
You have Written a very long Introduction. Concise first paragraph Which is very long and write problems faced by elderly in 3-4 lines of second para. And focus more on the core part of the Question.
You have enough content but you haven’t addressed the demand of the Question. Here you had to focus more on analysis related to various challenges faced by the policymakers during design, development and execution of the policies related to elderly.
You had to use various scheme in analysis so to give credibility to your Argument.
You can give Arguements on following lines- In Design- issue of the amount and the target population. Financial support to elderly in any state depends on state’s economic capacity as the centre provides a meagre amount (few hundred rupees). The states contribute according to their capacity. Similarly, you can talk about retirement ages and other issue.
In development – there is the issue of linking the amount to minimum standards of living and indexing them to inflation
Then Point out issue like feminisation and ruralisation of old age population.
In execution there are issues of governance, i.e. making the scheme easily accessible. As old age is usually associated with declining faculties, both mental and physical; so must tackle this issue. JAM Trinity reduce leakages and Lack Digital literacy is a hurdle.
Write Suggestions in detail. Then separately Conclude your answer.
All the best and Keep Practicing 🙂
4.5/15
pay_HHogiMPYpQ87sC
Kartikey,
You have Written an apt Introduction.
You have Written a fine answer. However you need to do some changes in this Answer.
It would be better if you could divide Challenges part into Section as per the Question i.e. design, development and execution.
Also you need to Inculcate various Schemes as Supportive elements to the Challenges you have Written so fulfill the demand of the second Part Question i.e. How far do the recent measures taken by the government address these challenges.
Then you should write some measures for improvement in detail.
Don’t miss any aspect of the question.
All the very Best. Keep Practicing 🙂