“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction – define what is caste system.
Body –
Write with example the problem created by caste system.
Enlist steps taken the Government to address issue of caste system.
Write further measures needed with examples
Conclusion – give concluding remarks with references to the importance of ending caste system for the better future of India.
Review please
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Santosh,
Your Introduction is very well articulated.
This is a 15 marks questions you’ll get 3 pages for it. follow UPSC standard.
You need to write down various evils caused by caste system. Diagrams cannot be a replacement for write up of core part of a question (asked explicitly in the que.).
Initiatives can be group under three broad headings i.e. Constitutional measures, Legislation, and welfare schemes.
Suggestions is the part of the Question which will give edge so suggest more ways to end this evil such as Attitudinal change on the lines of swacch bharat abhiyan,
Values based education plus promotion of inclusive extra curriculum activities in school, empowerment and sensitization of PRI as caste system is more dominating in Villages, checking caste conscience political activities etc.
Try to write forward looking but pragmatic Conclusion.
Keep practicing 🙂
4.5/15
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Vishal,
Your Introduction is fine, mention the name of four varnas.
In body first part is written fine however few more points can be added like discrimination and caste violence, caste based politics etc.
Second part can be presented better under headings like Constitutional, Legislative, Welfare schemes.
Third part of the Question is the most important part which will create difference in the marks.
So add more suggestions like mission mode Attitudinal change like Swacch bharat abhiyan, strengthening PRIs, value based education plus innovative extra curricular activities etc.
Conclusion would be better if you put emphasis on the need of ending this evil system for better future of India.
Keep practicing 🙂
6.5/15
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Shubhashree,
You can write better Introduction. Rather then tracing origin in history point out Varna system of Vedic age.
There is Apt use of diagram.
In body first part of the Question is Written really well.
Second part can be divided under headings constitutional, Legislative, Welfare schemes. Add more measures in this section. Write full form of PoA. Use acronym only after writing full form first.
You need to write suggestions in greater detail. This is a 15 marks question. Also a core part of the question. Most people will write more or less same first two parts. Innovative suggestions in this part will give edge. So add more suggestions.
You have very good factual knowledge which is used very aptly. Keep it up.
Keep writing 🙂
6.5/15
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Anupam,
Your Introduction is fine.
There are following issues:
1. In first part there is mixing up of points belonging to one field into another. Example Patriarchy must come under Social.
2. This section can be divided under three headings constitutional, Legislative and welfare schemes for better presentation.
3. You need to give more diverse suggestions. Covering social, political and economic aspects.
Conclusion is fine.
You write answer regularly which is good. But you need to take it more seriously. It has been asked you on multiple occasions to write a 10 marks question in two pages and 15 marks in 3 pages.
It’s for your own good. It’ll help you in space management in Mains. Rest choice is yours.
Keep practicing 🙂
5.5/15
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@Swatantra sir
Chandrama,
Your Introduction is fine.
You have addressed all the parts of the question. However there are following Issues:
1. This is asked explicitly in question so give brief description about each evil. Also division of labour you have mentioned doesn’t stand true for upper three caste at present so just mention involuntary occupation of so called Low castes into menial jobs like manual scavenging.
2. Here you can also mention various commissions, Welfare schemes of the Govt.
3. Also avoid Writing radical suggestion like scrapping Reservation. First, it’s contradictory to your point written in ‘steps’ section. Also idea behind reservation is to uplift those sections of the society which are discriminated against historically.
Untill that inequality ends in Social and education levels, reservation will continue.
Add better suggestions here.
In your way forward it’ seems you are suggesting to maintain the caste system. There is nothing good about caste system. It is evil that is why govt of India putting efforts to end it. Also it is against the Constitutional ideal.
Be mindful of what you write. Even a single mistake like this can cost you whole paper.
Keep practicing for further Improvement.
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Rahul,
Overall you have Written a good answer.
Introduction is fine but can be better.
In body, first part you can use some facts to substantiate your points.
In Second, you need to write more steps, divide into Constitutional, Legal and Welfare schemes.
In this question 1st and second part will be written more or less same by most students. To take an edge you need to give more effective and innovative suggestions.
Like nudging people to change on a mission mode like Swacch Bharat Abhiyan, checking caste based Politics, Values based education plus promotion of inclusive extra curriculum activities in school, empowerment and sensitization of PRI as caste system is more dominating in Villages etc.
Conclusion is fine, keep writing:)
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Sumita,
Your Introduction is well articulated.
You have aptly used diagram but forgot to label it. Always label you diagrams/maps without which they have little meaning.
In body first part is written very well covered all most all the issues, but you need to be concise.
In Second Part other then constitutional, Legal, you can also write various welfare schemes.
You have missed by the be third section. Just one suggestion is not enough as questions specifically ask you to give suggestions.
First two part of this question will be written more or less same by most aspirants. This suggestion part will give edge. So add more points here.
You have good knowledge just give equitable space to each part.
Keep Practical 🙂
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Arpit ,
In Introduction you should define caste system.
In body, you have just drawn a diagram which is not enough. Diagrams are fine but they can not be a replacement for a core part of the question. Give 1-2 line description for each evil and use facts to substantiate.
In Second part you can add other constitutional measures and Welfare schemes.
In the last part your suggestions are kind of vague. You need to write more convincing points like Attitudinal change on the lines of swacch bharat abhiyan,
Values based education plus promotion of inclusive extra curriculum activities in school, empowerment and sensitization of PRI as caste system is more dominating in Villages, checking caste conscience political activities etc.
Conclusion can be better
Read others’ answers for better understanding. Keep practicing:)
5.5/15
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Utkarsha ,
Your Introduction is fine. Conclusion is written very well.
There are following Issues in your answer-
1. You need to prioritize your points better for eg. Untouchability, discrimination should be written before caste based Politics. Also You have miss untouchability and caste based violence which are two big evils perpetuated by Caste System.
2. Same arrangement Issues is there like first part. Write first Constitutional steps, then Legislative then others
3. In last part, 1 point is more of issue with caste system not suggestion.
See caste system is not any administrative problem which can be end just by grievance redressal. For removing this evil we need to make all encompassing efforts.
So write here more convincing points like point 4.
Attitudinal changes by nudging, checking caste based Politics, making symbolising of caste illegal like UP Govt’s decision against using caste symbols on vehicles etc.
Keep writing for further Improvement:)
6.5/15
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Ankita,
Your Introduction is fine but it can be Written Better.
You have good content on the topic however there are following issues-
1.Second paragraph is essentially repetition of first. Avoid it.
Diagrams should be drawn for peripheral parts of the answer. Not for which you are going to discuss in detail. Avoid unnecessary diagrams, you’ll not get extra marks for it. Add more points like caste violence, caste politics etc
2. You can arrange better second part under headings like Constitutional measures, Legislative measures, welfare schemes etc.
3. You have taken 4 pages yet You have missed suggestions part. Which is the most important section as first two will be written more or less same you most of the students.
Address all the parts of the question.
Read others’ answer as well and Keep writing for further improvement:)
5.5/15
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4th pg
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Kartikeya,
Your Introduction is well articulated. Conclusion is written fine.
Overall you have written Fine answer. But there are few Issues-
1. Always give write up to a core part of the question (mentioned explicitly in the question). Diagram can not be a replacement for it.
2. Second part is Written fine for better presentation these points can be clubbed into headings like Constitutional, Legislative, Welfare schemes.
3. Third section is written well however few more points can be added here like checking caste based Politics, bringing Attitudinal change in a mission mode, sensitization and empowerment of PRIs, promotion and effective implementation of schemes etc.
Overall fine Attempt. Just give due write up to all the parts of the question.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
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Deepika,
Your Introduction is fine but write Introduction in a paragraph format. Also you need not to write heading ‘Introduction’.
In main body you need to arrange your arguments better. Use headings like biased division of labour, caste violence, caste based Politics along with discrimination and untouchability.
Education section can be written under discrimination.
Second part is written Fine, however here also you need to prioritize your points. Write constitutional measures first, then Legislative than other like welfare schemes.
In third part you had to give suggestions which you did as a passing reference. Add suggestions here in more detail.
4. Write conclusion separately from your way forward.
Read others answers for better understanding.
Keep practicing 🙂
5.5/15
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Aabha,
Though caste system is derived form Varna System but it’s different. Four-fold division you have mentioned belongs to varna System. Read more about the difference.
In first part of the body you need to add more points like description, biased division of labour, caste violence etc.
Second part can be arranged better under headings like Constitutional, Legislative and welfare schemes. Here also you can add more points.
In third you need to add more suggestions. This is the most important part. Innovative suggestions will help you in fetching good marks as most of the students will have idea about first two sections.
Add here points like bringing Attitudinal change in a mission mode on the lines of Swacch Bharat Abhiyan, checking caste Politics, sensitization and empowerment of PRIs etc.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep writing:)
5.5/15
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Please review
@Swatantra
Sana,
Overall you have Written a good answer.
Introduction is concise and aptly articulated.
Addressed all the three section of the question.
However you can add more points in each section like caste violence, Caste based Politics as hinderance in realization of true democracy etc.
Second section can be divided under headings like Constitutional Legislative and welfare schemes etc.
Third section too more points can be added like checking caste based Politics, sensitization and empowerment of PRIs, reducing Regional economic disparity etc.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep it up and keep Writing:)
@Swatantra
Harshaa,
Your Introduction is fine.
Your have touched upon all the parts of the question. However there are following Issues
1. Your way of writing first part is fine. However it would be better if you point out various evils separately to look for convincing. Also add more points and facts to support your Arguments.
2. Govt has taken various steps, you can divide them under headings like Constitutional, Legislative, Welfare schemes. Giving passing reference to a core part is not enough. It’s a 15 marks question.
3. Same is the issue with the third part. You have written multiple measure but You need to talk about these measures in detail.
Conclusion should be written separately from the main body.
Give due write up to all the parts of the question. Keep practicing for further improvement:)
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Please review @Swatantra Sir
You have Written a very good answer overall.
Covered all the parts of the question well. Structure is Also good.
Just one suggestion to make your answer better is that whenever you identify problems in any question, try to write suggestions to resolve all the problems you have identified.
Rest is fine. Overall a good Attempt.
Keep practicing:)
kindly review
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Deepali ,
In Introduction you need to talk about the caste system not Varna System though may look same but are different. Also avoid writing radical lien like ‘pure exploitation done by Brahmins’ it may hurt the feelings of evaluator belonging to the same class, rather use neutral term so called ‘upper castes’.
Try to use subheadings for various parts of the answer. Also talk in more detail about the various exploitations and use facts to support your Arguments.
Second part is written well However it would be better if you can club measures under headings like Constitutional, Legislative, Welfare schemes etc.
In final section you can give more suggestions. This is the part which will create difference in the marks.
See most students will write more or less same about first two parts. In this section you’ll get chance to show your innovative reasoning.
Conclusion can be improved upon.
Keep practicing 🙂
6.5/15
Payment Id : 115213946268
Vivek,
You’ll get only 3 pages for a 15 marks question in Mains so follow standard Of UPSC.
Your Introduction is fine.
In first part of the body you need to be concise about the evil practices and add more like discrimination, caste violence, caste conscious politics etc. Use facts to support your points.
Add more steps taken by the Govt. For better presentation arrange them under headings constitutional, Legislative, Welfare schemes.
You need to add more suggestions like checking caste conscious politics, economics development, a mission for Attitudinal change on the lines of Swacch Bharat Abhiyan. etc
Conclusion is fine.
Keep Practical for further Improvement:)
Payment Id : 115213946268
Conclusion of the answer.
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Shivanshu,
Overall you have Written a good answer.
Covered all the aspects of the question. Arrangement of the ideas is Also good.
Content wise your answer is fine. Try to Inculcate facts especially in first part (evils and consequence) to support your Arguments.
If would be better of you can write 1-2 lines linking statement when switch between different parts. It’ll give better flow to your answer.
Some more innovative points can be Written in suggestions parts like bringing Attitudinal change in a mission mode on the lines of Swacch Bharat Abhiyan, inclusive curriculum and extra curricular activities in schools, checking caste conscious politics etc.
Conclusion is good.
Overall good Attempt. Keep writing:)
7.5/15
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Vishnu,
Your Introduction is very well articulated.
Second paragraph is very well Written. However Shia and Sunnis are factions in Islam all over the world they are not like castes.
You need to write evils of the system in detail. It’s the core part of the Question. Also add more effective points like untouchability, biased division of labour, discrimination, caste violence etc.
Measures taken can be arranged better under headings like Constitutional, Legislative, Welfare schemes etc. In present form they are Written haphazardly.
Add more suggestions. This is part of the question which can give you edge as first two parts of the Question will be Written more or less same by most of the students.
Keep practicing for further Improvement:)
6.5/15