“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction
Define Secularism.
Body
Briefly talk about the origin and nature of western Secularism.
In Second part talk in detail about how Indian Secularism is different from the west and uniquely designed to suit Indian Society and culture.
Conclusion
Write about the importance of Secularism for vibrant Indian democracy.
Refund 422544
Anupam ,
Introduction you should define Secularism them start you discussion about its nature.
Give examples of France and USA for Western Secularism.
You need to write in more detail about the relation between state and religion for indian secularism.
Then other points you have Written.
Add more words to your answer. Use two pages.
Conclusion is very well articulated. Keep practicing 🙂
3.5/10
Please review it sir
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Shubham,
You need to write more refined definition of the secularism also the second para about the origin of Secularism is wrong. It essentially goes back to 15th-17th century at the time of renaissance.
You have content but it is not Written as per the Demand of the question. It doesn’t ask you to compare between western and Indian Secularism rather you had to discuss about the nature of Indian Secularism.
Briefly Writing about western secularism with examples like France and USA. Write about indian secularism.
How it’s much more than state-religion separation as it promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality ensure fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Use points written in conclusion in main body.
Mold your knowledge as per the demand of the question. Take help of Mentor’s Comments if you find it difficult to understand.
Keep practicing:)
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Shubhashree,
Overall your have written fine answer. However there are few issues such as-
1. You need to refine your Definition of Secularism. It’s essentially a political doctrine affecting relationship between state and religion. Not separation in social and Economic and cultural life.
2. Quote example of France and the USA for Western Secularism. Also origins of Secularism as theory goes back to renaissance 15-17th century AD.
3. To bring out distinction of Indian Secularism being more than state-religion affairs you need to mold your argument to make them more convincing.
Safeguard to Women and Dalits have are not essentially dew to Secularism.
You need to mindful of using words like you have used cooperative Federalism for communities which is wrong usage of the term. These small mistakes questions the conceptual clarity.
Pls upload better pictures. It hard to read at times. Use grey scale while uploading.
Keep practicing:)
Please review
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Utkarsha,
You need to read more about the topic to bring conceptual clarity. Definition of Secularism is wrong.
You haven’t understood the demand of the question.
Your whole first page is remotely related to the question.
For origin of Western Secularism just give reference to renaissance and then write its nature in brief with mentioning of France and USA.
Then discuss Indian Secularism and how it’s much more then the western ideal of separation of state from Religion as it promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality ensure fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Question doesn’t ask you to compare Indian and western style of Secularism. Stick to the demand of the question.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
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Ankita,
Your Introduction is very well articulated but it’s lengthy.
You need to mold your arguments as per the demand of the question. Question doesn’t ask you to compare Western and Indian Secularism.
After writing nature of western Secularism in paragraph you should quote examples of France and USA.
Then you need to keep your focus on Indian Secularism. How it’s much more then state-religion separation as it promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality ensure fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Mold your arguments as per the demand of the question.
Keep practicing for further improvement 🙂
Payment Id: pay HFrdyJMOEZ9967. Please review, Sir.
Sumita ,
You need to read more about the topic.
Secularism doesn’t mean separation of Religion from social, Economic and cultural life. It’s essentially a Political doctrine which talks about separation of Religion from state though nature of this separation can be different.
You are wrong about origins of Secularism as well it goes back to the age of renaissance 15-17 th Century AD.
Question doesn’t ask you to compare the two rather you have to show how Indian Secularism is much more then just state-religion separation as it promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality ensure fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Your first point in indian section needs correction. In india only one sided intervention is possible that is state can intervene into the Religion but not the other way around.
Rest tak points are just extension of first.
Read more about the topic.
Read others’ answers for better understanding.
Keep practicing 🙂
I wanna share my answer script here.. But it’s not giving access
Review
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Rajlaxmi ,
Many of you written the same definition of Secularism but it’s wrong. Refer to ncert for better understanding
Secularism doesn’t mean separation of Religion from social, Economic and cultural life. It’s essentially a Political doctrine which talks about separation of Religion from state though nature of this separation can be different.
Origins of Secularism as theory goes back to the age of renaissance 15-17 th Century AD.
question doesn’t ask you to write caparison in that too You have given very poor arguments.
Rather first write nature of western Secularism than talk in how Indian Secularism is different as it is much more than just state and Religion separation. Use points of your diagrams for it.
Read more about the topic. Form more effective Arguments.
Keep practicing 🙂
2.5/10
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Arpit,
Overall you have Written a very good answer.
You have clearly explained how Indian Secularism is more than just Religion-State separation.
However you need to write better description of western Secularism and Indian Secularism.
Origins of Secularism as Political theory goes way back to the time of renaissance.
Your headings related to Indian Secularism needs to be modified so make them more relatable with the question.
Add facts to support your Arguments.
Rest is fine. Keep practicing 🙂
4.5/10
Order number #0000416426
Please review Sir
Rupesh,
Secularism doesn’t mean separation of Religion from social, Economic or cultural life. It’s a Political doctrine which essentially talk about the separation of state and Religion. Though nature of this separation is different.
Also origins of Secularism as Political theory goes way to the time of Renaissance 15-17th century. And French Revolution took place in the next half of 18th century.
Question doesn’t ask you to write difference between Western and Indian Secularism.
So you need to mold your arguments.
Write in brief about the western Secularism. Then with more effective arguments you need to keep your focus on Indian Secularism.
How it’s much more then state-religion separation as it promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality ensure fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Mold your arguements as per the demand of the question.
Conclusion is well articulated.
Keep practicing for further improvement 🙂
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Please review @Swatantra Sir
Overall your have written a good answer.
However You need to refine your Definition of Secularism.
Content is also very good. Just you need to add more facts in Support of your Arguments to give them depth.
Also In India too state doesn’t promote any Religion rather protection and Support all.
To make your answer more align to the demand of the question Structure and arrangement of the arguments can be improved upon. Since questions doesn’t ask you to write comparison between the two.
It would be better if you briefly write about what is Western Secularism and its origin.
And giving second page solely to the discussion related to Indian Secularism and how it’s much more than just being separation of state and Religion.
Rest is fine. Keep practicing for further improvement:)
4.5/10
kindly review @Swatantra sir
ref id #420326
Deepali,
First you should define Secularism in your Introduction.
You have understood the question but your write-up didn’t satisfied it.
Except point 2, other two are also present in western Secularism. Only few States in Europe have state religion.
Essentially after writing what is the nature of Secularism in west and it’s origin. You had to show how Indian Secularism is much more then just state-religion separation as it promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality, ensure fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Take your time to frame more effective arguments. Focus on the demand of the question.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
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Shivanshu ,
Your Introduction is very well articulated.
However in second paragraph you need to bring more clarity in your Argument so make nature of Western Secularism clear.
In your discussion how ‘Indian Secularism is much more’ your most of the points essentially talks about only one Aspect that is state can intervene. Here your need to add more effective points such as Indian Secularism promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality ensure, fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Understanding and structure of the answer is fine but content needs improvement.
Keep practicing for further improvement 🙂
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Kartikey,
You have written a very good Introduction. Conclusion is fine.
Your whole write on the first page is very well articulated.
How ever on Second page your discussion essentially centered around only one aspect that is state can intervene.
Here your need to add more points such as Indian Secularism promotes inter and intra Religious Equality, state plays a role of custodian of morality, ensure fare space to all individuals spiritual well being etc.
Upload better pictures it becomes hard at times to read. upload grey scale images.
Overall a fine answer. Keep practicing 🙂
4.5/10