“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction
Briefly explain globalisation and westernisation.
Body
In first section explain the factors that make globalisation akin to westernisation. Give examples.
In next section discuss how globalisation is a two way process. Go beyond the modern times also take cue from ancient and medieval period in this regard.
Conclude suitably.
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Shubhashree,
You have Written a very good Answer.
From the first word till the last your answer remained in sync with the Demand of the Question.
In first section you need to mold first two points so to make them more relatable to the fact why globalisation being confused with westernisation specially second point which should be in next section.
Second section is written very well.
Conclusion is fine but need better frameing specially in second statement.
It was a very good effort overall Keep practicing:)
5.5/10
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Kartikey,
Your Introduction and Conclusion both are very well articulated.
Both part of the question is very well Written. Content wise answer is fine but you can make it better.
You need to add more points in each section especially in the second one.
You can talk in term of spread of various Religion, influence of Arabs, influence of big economies like China and India on the world, movement of professionals, artists, entrepreneurs from East to West etc.
rest is written fine. Overall a fine Attempt.
Keep Practicing:)