Mentor’s Comments-
- In the introduction, write about ‘reformed multilateralism’.
- In the body, first, mention the weaknesses shown by UN led multilateralism. Next, talk about the major global areas that requires multilateralism.
- Conclude by mentioning India’s efforts in the direction of reformed multilateralism.
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Staff @CD
Alankrit
In introduction, you can define reformed multilateralism- reforming institutions of global governance.
Next part about failures of UN-led multilateralism is fine, but you have criticized countries’ behaviour mostly..talk about how as an organization UN has failed- to handle the pandemic, to prevent the aggressive rise of China, deficiencies inside financial bodies like IMF & World Bank, inefficient peacekeeping operations etc..
Next part is good, some more areas which require global cooperation like big data, climate finance, terrorism etc could also be mentioned.
Next, also try to mention a bit about how India has been working towards a reformed multilateralism- G4 and other multilateral efforts.
Concluding statement is fine.
Keep practicing. 🙂