Mentor’s Comments-
- https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/what-numbers-dont-tell-us/article65906099.ece
- Introduce by quoting some statistics about mental health issues in India’s prisons.
- In the body, write about the problems faced by the prisoners and the reasons associated.
- Next, mention a brief way forward on dealing with the issue.
- Conclude accordingly.
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Alankrit
Introduction is fine. Next, you have mentioned the causes for worsening mental health in India’s prisons which are also fine.
But the first statement, needs to be substantiated first, that is you need to give some evidence of the mental health crisis. Some data from NCRB’s prison statistics reports can be quoted.
In next part too, where you mention causes, some value addition can be done such as mentioning % of undertrials etc. Also, this part can be kept a bit short.
A way forward can be mentioned, where you can mention recommendations of jail reforms committee, need for modernisation of prisons, implementation of modern prison manual etc
Conclusion is fine.
Overall, you have addressed just one part of the answer which somewhat shows the lack of holistic knowledge. Value addition is required.
Keep practicing. 🙂
3.5/10