Mentor’s comment-
- https://indianexpress.com/
article/opinion/columns/india- pacific-relations-quad- exercise-6982086/ - In the intro, mention the extent of the region.
- In the body, discuss the various aspect of India’s Indo-Pacific region which is embodied in SAGAR. In the next part mention with some figures why the region is important for the world as a large portion of trade and energy security of the world depends on the stability of the region. In the challenges, mention the China factor, lack of cooperation among the countries etc.
- Conclude by mentioning the need for rule-based order in the region and cooperation among the countries of the Indo-Pacific for the development.
divyaloyola13@gmail.com
Hi Divya
First thing, adhere to word limit, this is a 10 marker question so try to complete in maximum two pages or 150 words.
You have written the introduction of three paragraphs, introduction should be crisp and concise and should consist of one small paragraph.
When you write the importance, write your content of mineral resources under the subheading- economic importance.
You can summarise the economic importance in one paragraph.
In the way forward, mention that Maritime Domain Awareness (MDA) is necessary for Indo-Pacific security.
Try to diversify your content.
Keep writing.
Please review
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Hi Vinay
In the introduction, you have mention ‘for India’, instead of it, briefly explain Indo-pacific vision in general.
You have explained the various aspect of India’s Indo-Pacific region which is embodied in SAGAR in a decent manner.
Challenges are written well.
Need to add more points in way forward, mention Maritime Domain Awareness.
Good conclusion.
Overall a decent attempt.
Keep working hard.