Mentor’s comment-
- https://indianexpress.com/
article/opinion/columns/the- mobile-phone-sector-has- lessons-for-indias-economy- 7732417/ - In the intro, mention how India transformed itself to become the second-largest manufacturer globally.
- In the body, mention the success of the mobile phone manufacturing sector and steps taken by the government such as automatic FDI, import duty, Phased manufacturing plan, manufacturing clusters etc. In the challenges mention lack of technology, investment, low-value addition, labour laws, lack of big manufacturing units etc,
- Conclude by mentioning the need to leverage the make in India plan to make replicate the success of the mobile phone sector to other parts of the economy.
Id0000486418
Hello
In introduction, you have mentioned India having the largest mobile penetration, that is not correct; also question is not about mobile penetration but the lessons in economy that is manufacturing, exports etc.
In intro, you can mention that from being one of the largest importers in 2014-15, we have come a long way to become the second-largest global manufacturers.
Then in next part, mention steps taken by the govt. which has led to this growth- automatic FDI, import duty, Phased manufacturing plan, manufacturing clusters, PLI scheme, vertical integration with input industries such as semi-conductors etc.
Some of your points are fine too such as rising consumer-acceptance, examples of Jio and BSNL etc
However, avoid making extreme statements like PSUs can’t work in modern India.
Again in challenges, you have written about issues in penetration, that is not asked, mention challenges in economic growth due to manufacturing such as lack of technology, investment, low-value addition, labour laws, lack of big manufacturing units etc
Also, you can mention a brief way forward and then conclude.
Keep practicing. 🙂