Introduction – explain nature of biasness in humans
Body –
Explain why humans are naturally biased. Substantiate with example.
Explain ways to make civil servants impartial. Emphasis must be on ethical ways to do so.
Conclusion – conclude with emphasis on importance of impartiality for civil servants.
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Vishal,
You have written a good answer.
You can improve of following points to improve further –
1. In suggestion part you have focused only on law related suggestions. Give some ethical arguments like promoting integrity in service- it can be done by rewarding good conduct.
2. Introduction can be improved. Give example like even small child favours the parent which spend more time with him/her.
Keep writing to improve further:)
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Subhashree,
Upload clear photographs, sometimes it becomes hard to understand what you have Written.
Use a scanner such as fast scanner and upload pic in grey scale.
Your introduction is good.
The first part of the answer – biasness is natural- is also attempted well. In this part you can improve your Example. Give some example that look like natural biasness such as child having biasness.
The 2nd part of the question was about how to make civil servants impartial. What you have explained is importance of impartiality.
Always read the question carefully. Read mentors comment to get idea for different part of the question.
Also, try to use quote with a context. Free floating quotes need to be contextualized within answer.
Keep writing to improve further
Please review.
Please review it sir
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Shubham
You have written a good answer.
It can be further improved in certain areas –
1. Your introduction lacks punch. Make it more profound. Use better lines that Directly address the question can be used. Here in this answer you could have started by stating what is biasness.
2. In first part of answer- biasness is natural – add more arguments to your answer. Like how biological, psychological settings have made human biased in evolution itself.
Second part is- how to Inculcate impartiality- Written good. Add some ethical arguments like promoting integrity in service- it can be done by rewarding good conduct.
Overall well attempted.
Keep writing to improve further:)
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Harshita,
Your Introduction is fine, give example to add value.
In first part of body you should depict why humans are inherently bias, biological, psychological basis of it along with social, economic factors etc.
You have talked mainly about the ill impact of biasness but the core demand of the Question is to write- how to make civil service impartial.
Reference in last paragraph is not enough.
You have got the idea and have clarity of concept. But focus on addressing core demands of the Question. Take help of Mentor’s Comments.
Keep practicing for further improvement;)
2.5/10
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Ankita,
First define biasness before talking about the concept.
You have not addressed the demand of the question.
There are two main parts of the question.
1. Biasness is inherent in human nature, which you referred in Introduction, however you need to talk about it in more detail.
2. How to make civil service impartial. Which you have written in few lines in the end.
Your whole discussion focused on why civil servants need to be impartial which should be a 3-4 lines paragraph as per the demand of the question.
You have enough content but it needs to be present as per the question. Take help of mentor’s comments.
Keep practicing:)
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Abhaa,
Your Introduction is fine but try to write more refined definition also add example for value addition.
1. In body you should have talked why biasness is inherent in human nature citing various factors such as biological, psychological, social, Economic etc.
2. Discuss in greater detail about ways to make civil servants impartial. As this is the core aspect of the Question.
3. Biasness and it’s impact in CS should be Written in one paragraph only. Focus on the core Demand of the Question. Avoid Writing politically charged examples.
Mold your knowledge and present it as per the demand of the question.
Keep practicing:)
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Deepali
Before starting discussion define what is biasness first.
It’s good that you gave examples but try to give examples related to civil service as question is about that.
You failed in addressing the demand of the question.
Here you had to write first reasons for biasness being inherent in humans;
Second ways to make civil service impartial.
Whatever you have written can not take more then one paragraph as far as the Demand of this question concerns.
Read question properly, try to understand the demand of the question, take help of Mentor’s Comments and by then write what is asked not what you know.
Read others’ answer for better understanding.
Keep practicing:)
2.5/10
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Vishnu,
You should have define biasness with example in the introduction. Than come to impartiality in second part.
1. You have addressed biasness being inherent but add example here so to make it apparant.
2. Third paragraph is hard to relate with the points you have Written. Be clear in the expression.
3. Add Examples in your answer to give depth to your discussion.
Conclusion can be improved upon.
You have enough knowledge about the topic. Overall a fine Attempt.
Keep practicing:)
4.5/10
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Sumita,
Your Introduction is fine but it’s lengthy, concise it and try to add an example to give depth to your answer.
You should have discussed why ‘biasness is inherent’ in greater detail citing various factors such as biological, psychological, social, Economic etc.
Section about impact of biasness can be reduced along with the example you have given. You need to write concise examples. Also it would be better if you write examples related to civil service especially in question which talked about civil servants.
In suggestion add some ethical arguments like promoting integrity in service- it can be done by rewarding good conduct.
Conclusion is fine.
One thing you must understand is that maximum space should be given to the core aspect of the question, rest linking or fringes parts should be written in limited space.
Keep practicing:)
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Arpit,
Your Introduction is fine. Definitions can be refined further. Also add examples for both.
You have understood the question but couldn’t fulfilled it’s demand.
1. Discuss why biasness is inherent in human nature on citing factors like biological, psychological, social, cultural etc.
2. In suggestions, there is repetition. Points 1,3 &4 essentially means same.
Here measures based of Ethics- like promoting integrity by rewarding good conduct,
Legal- strict adherence of conduct rules,
training attitudinal training, role playing etc.
Read others answers for better understanding. Keep practicing 🙂
2.5/10
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@Swatantra
Rohan,
You should define bias before starting discussion.
Talk in greater detail about ‘bias is inherent’ add biological, psychological, Social Economic factors etc
Second part of the question is written very well. you can club these measures under headers like Ethical, legal, Attitudinal training etc.
Overall you have written a fine answer but there is not even a single example. You should write examples, if possible for each argument, it’ll add value to your answer.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
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Shivanshu,
Your Introduction is fine, give example to substantiate your point.
In main body you need to talk in greater detail to prove bias is inherent. You can cite factors like biological, psychological, social etc.
Second parts, suggestions is written well but they can be presented better like measures based of Ethics- like promoting integrity by rewarding good conduct; Legal- strict adherence of conduct rules; training attitudinal training, role playing etc.
You need to put more emphasis on writing examples in your answer.
Conclusion should be focused upon impartiality.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
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Kartikey,
Your Introduction is fine. Try to depict biasness with the help of example.
You should write in greater detail about ‘bias being inherent’ in human nature.
you have good content but Inculcate examples in your answer. It will make your Arguments more convincing and will provide depth to your answer.
Second part is written fine.
Overall it’s a fine attempt just give due space to each part of the question and Inculcate examples in your answer, if possible for each aspect.
Keep practicing 🙂
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Vivek,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine. To give greater depth you your answer add example.
In main body you’ve missed one aspect where you need to talk in detail about bias inherent In human nature. Here you can cite various factors for it like biological, psychological, social etc.
Second part is Written fine but you can add more measures here such as Attitudinal training – role playing, legal measure- strict adherence to conduct rules etc.
You need to add more examples in your answer, without their backing argument seems hollow.
Keep writing for further improvement:)
3.5/10
REF ID: #0000425733
Please review @Swatantra Sir
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine. Give example of biasness in Introduction for greater depth.
In main body you must show in greater details that bias is being inherent in human nature. Factors like biological, psychological, cultural etc influence humans nature.
In Second part it’s good that you have given emphasis on foundational values along with these you must write external enforcement measures like Training and learning, Legal mechanism like strict adherence of conduct rules etc.
Add examples in your answer cite names of various Officers and leaders here.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
3.5/10