“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction- define emotional intelligence
Body- explain what is so different about emotional intelligence i.e. it’s uniqueness.
Explain how it can help in coping emotional stress and occupational pressure with example.
Conclusion – give forward looking conclusion on importance of emotional intelligence in administration
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Shubhashree,
Over all you have Written a decent answer. But you can improve it further.
In first part you need to highlight how EI is the difference that makes the difference. For that you could have mentioned natural human behaviour under pressure or emotions. then bring out the aspect how person with EI would have handled the same situation.
Such comparative analysis will make first part more effective.
Then you should write components that you have Written on first page.
Also it would be better if you could write more effective examples since question is related to Civil services use examples from there only. If you are mentioning name of a person who is not well known like Devndu Shashtri then write something about him as evaluator may not know him.
Rest is Written fine.
Shubhashree you are the most consistent student who have Written all the answer. You have shown great Improvement and it’s the result your dedication and hardwork.
Thank you for such kind words. Just Stay focused and keep Practicing. You’ll do good.
All the Best. And keep practicing 🙂
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Ankita,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are apt as per the question.
You have good content for the question However you need to mold it as per the demand to address every section of the Question.
You haven’t address first part where you need to highlight how EI is the difference that makes the difference. For that you could have mentioned Normal human behaviour/Actions under pressure or emotions then bring out the aspect how person with EI would have handled the same situation.
Such comparative analysis will make first part more effective.
In Second Section use components of EI to address the part how a civil servant cope up with emotional stress and occupational pressure. Bring in factors such as Political interference, values like impartiality, neutrality, balance between public and private life etc. To make answer more effective.
There in not even a single example in your answer without which answer is hollow. Inculcate examples of various civil servants especially in question like this.
You have shown good Improvement Ankita, in terms of answer structure, presentation. Now focus more on making your content more relatable with effective supporting facts and examples.
You have done good but still you can improve more. Stay focused. All the Best and Keep Practicing 🙂
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Kindly review
Sonal ,
Like your last answer in this one too you have Breached the word limit.
You haven’t address first part. In place of Significance of EI, you need to highlight how EI is the difference that makes the difference.
For this you should write behaviour/Actions under pressure or emotions where EI is missing then bring out the aspect how person with EI would have handled the same situation.
The points you have Written on second page essentially repeat the idea that you have Written in significance. Avoid repetition.
In second part you have written very generic points and there is no example to support your argument. Here You have to show how EI help civil servant to cope up with emotional stress and occupational pressure, bring in factors such as Political interference, values like impartiality, neutrality, balance between public and private life etc. To make answer more effective.
Writing example in the end is not effective rather add them organically in your discussion along with your arguments.
Conclusion is fine. All the best and Keep Practicing 🙂
3.5/10
UPI Reference No.-114715258066
Murari,
Your Introduction is good. Conclusion can be Written Better.
You have Written a very generic answer. You have understood the question and Addressed it the right direction However Demand of the question haven’t fulfilled.
In first section rather then comparing EI with IQ you need to In first part you need to highlight how EI is the difference that makes the difference. For that you could have mentioned natural human behaviour under pressure or emotions. then bring out the aspect how person with EI would have handled the same situation.
Such comparative analysis will make first part more effective.
In Second section you need to highlight various stress and occupational pressure causing factors such as Political interference, Infodemic, influence of social media, limited resources, work and life balance etc. Then only your writeup will be effective plus you need to add examples of various Officers to substantiate your points.
Improvement on above lines will enhance the quality and give your answer more depth.
All the Best. And keep Practicing 🙂
3.5/10
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Kartikey,
Missing one aspect has been an issue with your few previous answer and You should rectify this.
In first section you need to highlight how EI is the difference that makes the difference. For that you could have mentioned natural human behaviour under pressure or emotions. then bring out the aspect how person with EI would have handled the same situation.
Such comparative analysis will make first part more effective. This can be done in brief with the help of an Example.
Second section is well Written However it can be improved upon further by the addition of Examples of Officers who have shown emotional intelligence. Like that of E. Shreedharan while working for DMRC resolved bureaucratic inertia and complete project before time, T N Sheshan handled political pressure and revamped electoral Process etc.
Rest is good. Keep it up. All the best. 🙂
4.5/10