Mentor’s Comments-
- Explain what you understand by compassion.
- Discuss how compassion is a gracious virtue.
- Explain how it can help solve the most pressing issues.
- Conclude on the basis of the above points.
No. 1 UPSC IAS Platform for preparation
Mentor’s Comments-
JmQPOijgofaERD
Hello
Decent attempt.
Introduction is fine. Good use of example.
In next para, along with peace and happiness you can also talk about how compassion promotes fraternity, helps to build social connections and addresses the root cause of suffering.
Mention of issues in next part is good. Nice that you have included environmental dimension.
Prevention of wars and conflicts can also be mentioned.
Also, you can talk about compassion at personal level, how it aids in individual growth and development by being not too critical and taking a solution-oriented approach.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep practicing. 🙂
id 216516833611
Pranav
Introduction is fine, example mentioned is also good. However, you have taken too much space in explaining the difference, you can avoid that. Just mention compassion being action-oriented and move on.
Explanation in next part is good, but you need to pay attention to the part- “which moves the world” in the question.
Talk about some of the pressing issues where contribution of compassion can be significant ( you have mentioned this in just the last line, needs to be elaborated).
You can talk about addressing social evils like poverty,hunger, child marriage, slavery, beggary, drug abuse etc. Next, compassion among individuals and leaders can also help in saving the environment. Prevention of wars and conflicts can be mentioned.
Also, you can talk about compassion at personal level, how it aids in individual growth and development by being not too critical and taking a solution-oriented approach.
Keep practicing. 🙂
#00000588209
Sushant
Decent attempt. Structure of the answer is good. Content is also fine.
Introduction is good, you can mention an example from everyday life- rescuing a child from child labour, helping out the victim of an accident etc
Importance part is fine.
Issues mentioned are also good, some broad international issues can also be incorporated(as the statement in question talks about moving the world) – preventing wars and conflicts, tackling climate change(compassionate leadership) etc.. Points no. 1,3 & 4 are similar- can be combined.
Also, try to write a concluding statement.
Keep practicing. 🙂
4.5/10