“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer by pointing out importance of Ethics in Governance
In main body write philosophical Ideals of various indian scriptures like Mahabharata, Ramayana, Bhagvat Gita, Buddha Charita, Arthashastra etc which promotes Ethics in Governance.
Conclude suitably.
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal,
Your Introduction is fine.
You have widely covered sources and their lessons. However in your answer concept of duty and Actions remained most dominant over others.
It would be better if you can bring out various aspects separately.
Like for duty talking about nishkam karma, Arthashastra over accountable and responsible bureaucracy, Ramayana idea of public good over individual good, Mahabharat teaching of JUSTICE.
You have covered all those aspects but they can be written better so to make them more effective.
You can also Inculcate Various anecdote from these scriptures to add value in your answer.
Overall fine Attempt Keep Practicing 🙂
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Shubhashree ,
Your Introduction is fine.
And you have brought up diverse lessons from scriptures into your answer.
It has been pointed out to you earlier as well that you must give arguments then Support them by examples. Examples are always Supportive in nature.
Also you need to link these lessons to modern day governance than only it will be a complete answer.
Rest is good. Keep Practicing 🙂
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Rahul,
Overall you have written a fine answer but you have used too many words for it.
Concise your answer. Improve structure and presentation and write shorter paragraphs.
You need to connect these lessons with present day governance. And how can these lessons address various problems marring administration.
You have brought up lessons very beautifully. But use anecdote as examples that should follow an argument. Not other way around.
Rest is fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
4.5/10
Please review @Swatantra sir
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Prashant ,
You need write more clear, simple and direct Introduction.
In your answer you have focused essentially on one aspect that is DUTY.
you need to bring in more aspects of governance into your answer as underscored by scripture such as Nishkam Karma (Bhagvat Gita), Justice from mahabharat, selflessness, loyalist and uploading trust of the people from Ramayana, accountable and responsible bureaucracy, charity and truthfulness from Harshacharita etc.
Also you need discuss them by bringing out their Importance in present day governance and how these can solve various problems marring present day administration.
Read others’ answer for better understanding.
Keep Practicing for further improvement 🙂
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Santosh ,
Your Introduction is fine.
You have good content.
You have pointed out various teachings of scriptures very well. However you have just enlisted them. Mentioning them in isolation are not enough.
You must depict importance of those lessons by connecting them with present day administration.
Then only it will satisfy the demand of the question.
So mold your knowledge in that direction.
Keep practicing 🙂
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Ankita,
You have written Introduction very well.
Structure and presentation is improved. Avoid Writing short from like adn.
However you failed in addressing the demand of the question. Your write-up is more of review of the content of scripture not what lessons valuable for governance they promote.
Here you need to bring in aspects of governance into your answer as underscored by scripture such as Nishkam Karma (Bhagvat Gita), Justice from mahabharat, selflessness, loyalist and uploading trust of the people from Ramayana, accountable and responsible bureaucracy, charity and truthfulness from Harshacharita etc.
And connect these lessons with present day governance and how they promote ideals of good governance.
Read others’ answers for better understanding.
Keep Practicing:)
Review Sir
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi,
Your Introduction is fine.
You have Written a good answer. However there are following issues-
1. Don’t write haphazardly. Like you have written in the space behind arrows on the first page it’s doesn’t look good. You are about to write UPSC exam not some School level test. So maintain that standard in presentation.
2. Content wise your answer is very good. It would be better if you can bring out values you have pointed out on first page in your second part like integrity from Bhagvat Gita-Mansa Vacha Karma, Truthfulness from Harshacharita, Honesty from Ramayana etc.
3. To make your answer more effective you need to connect each of your points with present day governance like you did with your second point.
Rest is good. Overall fine Attempt keep Practicing:)
4.5/10
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Kartikey,
Your Introduction is good. But Conclusion is very poor. Rather you can pointed out the relevance of teachings of the scriptures in present day Governance.
You have Written fine answer overall. Content is also Good However answer can be made Better. To make your answer more effective you need to connect each of your points with present day governance like you did with your third point.
Rest is fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
4.5/10
pay_HH4AoVE2qPd386 please review @Swatantra
..
Please review @Swatantra sir
Id 420326